


Words And Sentences

by DangerousCommieSubversive



Series: Prompt Collections from Tumblr [8]
Category: DCU, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Meme, Multi, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 96
Words: 25,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5193740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/DangerousCommieSubversive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompts from my Tumblr, from memes where the prompts were individual words or lines of dialogue. All kinds of characters, pairings, and fandoms. Have fun!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Merlin Baker and Bart Allen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked: Could you do Merlin/Bart Capernoited, and Zachary/Laura Malapert
> 
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first meme goes as follows:
> 
> Send me a word and a character/series/pairing and I will write a drabble:  
> squirreltastic:
> 
> Cheiloproclitic - Being attracted to someones lips.  
> Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on.  
> Ultracrepidarian - Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge.  
> Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you.  
> Tarantism - The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing.  
> Autolatry - The worship of one’s self.  
> Cagamosis - An unhappy marriage.  
> Gargalesthesia - The sensation caused my tickling.  
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy.  
> Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain.  
> Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss.  
> Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder.  
> Agelast - A person who never laughs.  
> Wanweird - An unhappy fate.  
> Dystopia - Am imaginary place of total misery. A metaphor for hell.  
> Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground.  
> Anagapesis - The feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did.  
> Malapert - Clever in manners of speech.  
> Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm.  
> Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot.  
> Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”.  
> Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed.  
> Sphallolalia - Flirtatious talk that leads no where.  
> Baisemain - A kiss on the hand.  
> Druxy - Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside.  
> Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.

Merlin hiccups several times in succession and wilts onto Bart’s shoulder. “I think I had too much champagne.”

Bart pats him on the shoulder. “How do you figure?”

“I feel very warm.”

“Well, I mean. It  _is_  your moms’ twenty-fifth anniversary. You’re sort of supposed to drink lots of champagne.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Merlin hiccups again and then smiles up at Bart. “You’re really cute, you know that? You have a cute nose.”

“R-really?” Bart turns bright red. “You think so?”

“ _Very_  cute nose.”

“I think you’ve had too much champagne.”

“Yeah, probably.” Merlin cuddles in closer. “Cutie. Cute nose.”


	2. Zachary Zatara and Laura Kinney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world also asked for Zachary Zatara/Laura Kinney, “malapert”
> 
> Malapert - Clever in manners of speech.

Zachary clears his throat and says, “Excuse me, Ms. Kinney, I wanted to ask you something.”

The mirror, predictably, says nothing back to him.

He adjusts his tie. “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the movies?”

No response from the mirror again, but he feels that it’s going well.

He practices a few more times, until he feels that he’s got it down perfectly, and then goes to find Laura.

–

Laura stares at the boy in front of her, who reminds her vaguely of Julian but whose name seems to be Zachary Zatara, and says, “You want me to go to the movies with you?”

“Ah…” He looks terrified. “Yes. Yes I would. Please. I would like to…get to know you better.”

“You don’t know me at all.”

“And I’d like to fix that.” At her blank look he swallows hard. “I’ve offended you.”

She doesn’t say anything. She just watches him thoughtfully.

“Oh god. I  _have_  offended you. Um. I’m very sorry. What can I do to apologize? I would offer to slay a dragon for you but that seems like it’d be out of proportion.”

She blinks. “Why would you offer that at all?”

“It’s…it’s the sort of thing magicians do. I’m very sorry that I offended you.”

“You didn’t. You just said you had. I was considering whether or not it was true.” She pauses. “What movie did you want to go see?”

“There’s…” he was going to suggest the latest Nicholas Sparks movie, despite his distaste for the man’s work, but he realizes that it seems like the wrong one given the circumstances. “There’s a new Die Hard movie out?”

“I’ve seen some of those. They are very bad.”

_Oh god._

“Yes, Zachary Zatara. I would like to go see the new Die Hard movie with you.”

“Uh…srewolf raeppa!” A bouquet of flowers appears in his hand, and he offers them to her. “If we leave now, we should just be able to make the next showing.”


	3. Savant and Creote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ashkaztra asked: Savant/Creote - Petrichor. Because it's one of my favourite things in the world. Good thing I live somewhere it rains a lot.
> 
> Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground.

The rainstorm was sudden and heavy, and it caught them entirely without shelter, as rainstorms tend to do. Brian would have been all right with that if he and Sasha had been  _working,_  but since they were just out for a  _walk_  and to do some shopping, it’s a bit frustrating.

Luckily, they manage to keep their shopping dry, but they get home soaked to the skin, and now, because it’s Gotham, half an hour has passed, the rain is gone, and the city is baking again.

Damp and miserable, they drag a few blankets up to the roof and sprawl in the sun, hoping to dry out.

When they’ve been lying there for five minutes, Sasha rolls over, throws his arm across Brian’s chest, and buries his face in the side of Brian’s neck. “I don’t like this city,” he mutters. “No proper city gets this hot. I’m going to melt.”

“You’re such a  _baby._ ” Brian works his fingers through the hair at the base of Sasha’s neck. “It’s not  _that_  hot. And the drying rain smells nice.”

“ _You_  smell nice.”

“I smell like a wet cat.”

“You smell like rain. I like rain.” Sasha’s head stays where it is, his nose still pressed against Brian’s jugular, but his free hand starts trailing absently down the other man’s arm. “You look good in the sun.”

“Are you feeling all–that  _tickles._ ” Brian squirms, and then finds that he’s been strategically trapped and starts to laugh. “Did you lure me up here  _just_  for that?”

“No, I just wanted to dry off.” He can feel Sasha smiling against his collarbone. “But you smell very nice.”


	4. Kate Bishop and Jackson Hyde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Young Titans, Concilliabule, Whichever pairing you can work in
> 
> Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot.
> 
> I did Kate Bishop and Jackson Hyde, since they’re a pair I haven’t really written much. ^_^

Kate and Jackson sit side by side, heads together, knees leaning towards each other. Their eyes don’t meet, but their hands touch slightly, and Kate says, “I liked going to the aquarium with you.”

Jackson smiles briefly, like a flash. “It was nice. Thank you for…for listening to me talk so much.”

“It was interesting! I always used to be scared of rays when I was little, it was great learning so much about them from you.” She grins. “Now…”

“Right.” He digs a notebook out of his pocket. “We need Jon Stewart to meet Carol Danvers.”

“They'd  _love_  each other.”

“Well, if I ask Arthur, he can probably get me in touch with Jon. You said you have a way to contact Carol, right?”


	5. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pyrohydriscence asked: Basorexia for amerikate, capernoited for billy/teddy OR concilliabule for bad moon rising (auuug this meme is hard to chose from)
> 
> I AM SAVING THE AMERIKATE ONE BECAUSE I GOT TWO REQUESTS FOR THAT EXACT THING. Also you know damn well I’m gonna do all three of them. ^_^ So, first, Billy and Teddy!
> 
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy

“Billy.” Teddy grabs his face. “Billy. Billy Billy. Billy Bill Billy-Bill Billy Bill Bill.”

“Teddyyyyyy.” Billy wrinkles his nose. “You're  _drunk._ ”

“So are youuuuuu.” A little more face-grabbing, and then Teddy wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, grinning, and slumps against him. “Scotch, scotch, scotch. I love scotch.”

“Oh my god, don’t quote  _Anchorman._ ”

“It could be worse!” And Teddy promptly grows a luxurious mustache.

Billy starts laughing hysterically. “Nooooooo. You’re not allowed to kiss me with the mustache!”

Across the room, America and Tommy look up, having finished their round of drunken Tekken, and see the mustache. America claps a hand over her mouth. Tommy’s chin drops.

Kate comes back from the kitchen with another six-pack and blinks. “What’s everyone  _oh._  Well  _that’s_  just…not right. That’s not right. Billy, make him get rid of the mustache.” _  
_

“Noh-Varr appreciates my mustache! Noh-Varr, you like my mustache, don’t you?” Teddy waves vigorously at him, almost toppling himself and Billy off the couch.

Noh-Varr flashes him a thumbs up and goes back to his drunken argument with David about sound equipment.

“See? Noh agrees! He likes my mustache! Billyyyyy, I want mustache kissesssssss!”

“Nooooo!” Billy can hardly speak for laughing. “No kisses if you have a mustache! None!”


	6. Thomas Blake and Floyd Lawton and Jeannette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ducttapefae also asked for Bad Moon Rising, that being our term for Thomas Blake/Floyd Lawton/Jeannette. Also, I am totally cheating, because I wrote this piece months ago and haven’t been able to finish it, so I figured I’d just post what I’ve got. It’s intended as a direct sequel to Try Living.
> 
> Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot

Thomas and Jeannette have been  _talking._

Floyd knows he’s in trouble, because normally he doesn’t even  _think_  of his…whatever-something-guy-person…as  _Thomas,_  normally it’s just  _Blake,_  first names are what you use with chicks and family and people who you’re in some kind of emotional  _relationship_  with. And this isn’t a relationship, it’s just a…

… _thing._  A thing where they’re good friends and they sort of made a spectacle of themselves fucking the other night and the other inhabitants of the House of Secrets smiled at them coming down to breakfast together and yeah maybe sometimes he calls the guy “Tomcat.” Which isn’t  _affectionate_  or anything, it’s supposed to be  _annoying._

Although after what happened three nights ago it’s getting all  _kinds_  of new connections.

But now he’s thinking  _Thomas,_  and said asshole of a golden fucking god is sitting at the kitchen counter with Jeannette, who’s  _definitely_  Floyd’s girlfriend or at least his  _something,_  and the two of them are drinking coffee and talking with their heads together.

And they  _look up_  when he comes in to get himself a beer, and he feels a cold shiver go down his spine, the kind of cold shiver that he’d normally associate with the almost supernatural knowledge that someone’s about to try killing him.

They’re probably not going to try to kill him.

Right?

He gets his beer, salutes them both with it, tries not to shudder when their eyes follow his every move, and heads back to the living room to watch some wrestling. The House of Secrets has a decent DVR and he’s three episodes behind on Monday Night Crisis. Knockout’s in the living room too, doing crunches in an outfit that  _isn’t distracting at all,_  he’s  _not going there again._  They spend an enjoyable few minutes making fun of the godawful technique on the wrestlers before she gets bored and wanders off to find Scandal.

The episode is pretty boring after that, so he’s  _almost_  not annoyed when a slim pale arm reaches down over his shoulder, plucks the remote from his knee, and pauses the television.

_Almost._

“Hey, Jeannie,” he says—without rancor—and tilts his head back to look at her, which gets him a decent eyeful. “Was watching that, you know.”

“Yes, I know, dear shootist.” Her hand traces up his arm and shoulder and neck to his chin, pulling his face up  _more_  so she can kiss him. “Thomas and I have been talking.”

“That so.” He bites down on another cold shiver. “What about?”

“I approve of him. I’ve decided I’m going to keep both of you.”

“Well, uh…good?” He grins at her, feeling a little sheepish suddenly at the memory of her cool assessing gaze three nights ago. “Which means I can’t watch wrestling anymore?”

“Which means that you may finish your entertainment later.” A pause, and she smiles faintly at him. “Really, with the amount of time you spend absorbed in watching large, sweaty men grapple with one another, I’m surprised this issue didn’t come up sooner.”

“Gonna have to ask Blake about that one, he started it. So what’m I doing if I can’t finish my show right now?”

“We’re going to be having a talk. Thomas is concerned that you’ve been avoiding him.”

Floyd coughs awkwardly. “Wouldn’t say I have been. Just been busy, is all.”

 _“Floyd.”_  And she doesn’t even say anything else. She just  _looks_  at him.

He’s the one who has to look away. “Yeah, ok. I guess we oughtta talk.”

“Good.” She turns and looks over her shoulder. “Thomas, dear, you can come in now.”

“Wait, we’re havin’ our talk in here?”

“If I tried to move it to a different room you’d almost certainly try to run away, dear.”

The floor creaks behind them, and then Thomas is leaning on the back of the couch next to Jeannette, and Floyd figures he must be getting a deer-in-the-headlights look right about now, because the other man smirks and then leans in close to his ear,  _sniffs,_  says, “If you didn’t want us to corner you then you would’ve dealt with this like a responsible adult and just  _talked_  to me.”

“Hell, Tomcat, bein’ a responsible adult’s mostly meant I  _shoot_  my problems.”

“And we wouldn’t want that, would we.” Jeannette glances fondly over at Thomas. “I suggest you sit  _on_  him, Thomas. That should keep him from running off.”

Thomas looks at her sidelong. “Well,  _now_  I’m starting to suspect that you just suggested this so you can watch us make out.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Is that a problem for you?”

He pauses, and then says, “No, I guess it isn’t,” and before Floyd can really process what they’re saying, Thomas  _has_  in fact moved around the couch and sat down straddling his lap, and suddenly he’s feeling markedly less sure of himself. This apparently isn’t a problem for  _Thomas,_  who just says, conversationally, “Floyd, I’m aware that we were both drunk, but we really should talk about what happened the other night.”

Floyd shifts nervously. “Don’t see what we gotta talk about.”

“Floyd.” Jeannette’s hand is still under his chin, and she slides it up to the top of his head, very gently twisting her fingers in his hair. “Are we going to dance around the issue, or are you going to be an adult and admit that you’d like to kiss him?”


	7. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Rushes to ask for a Nohmmy Gymnophoria fic
> 
> Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you

Noh-Varr rolls out from underneath the little landing craft he’s been repairing and feels someone watching him. “Hello? Is someone there?”

“Aw, man, don’t get up on account'a me.”

He blinks. “Tommy? When did you get here?”

“Oh, I’ve been here.” Tommy Shepherd is perched on a table across the workroom, watching Noh-Varr intently. “Didn’t wanna interrupt.”

“Did you…want something?”

“The others sent me to see if you wanted to meet up for pizza, you weren’t answering your texts.”

“Pizza sounds…good.” Noh-Varr is feeling…naked. The other boy’s gaze travels down the length of his body, then back up, with a focused interest that belies his posture–other than his staring, he  _looks_  like he could take flight at any moment. “Where are they meeting?” _  
_

“Some place in Boston, in the North End. Fuckin’ traitors, going for pizza outside'a New York.” Tommy grins suddenly. “So whaddaya say? Race you there?” _  
_

Noh-Varr looks down at himself. He’s covered in engine grease. “I’ll need to change first.”

“Take your time,” says Tommy, as Noh-Varr peels off his shirt. “I can wait.”


	8. Harry Potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meri47 asked: Harry Potter, Lalochezia!
> 
> Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain

Harry was always brought up not to swear. The Dursleys disapprove of swearing, particularly from children–anything that smacked of disrespect was quashed as soon as possible. Not that they ever punished Dudley for cursing, and Harry himself has been get away with a few pale oaths here and there since he was twelve or so.

But when a spell of Parvati’s misfires and paints a line of hot blisters up the side of Harry’s arm, Harry reflexively, and quite loudly, says,  _“Fuck.”_

Then he realizes what he’s said and flinches. Parvati says, nervously, “Sorry, Harry.”

“No, no, it’s fine, it happens.” He blinks. Nobody’s yelling at him. “No, you, uh…carry on. Very good. Very strong delivery.”

He wanders over to bother Luna for a healing spell, blinking all the while.

–

Later, he finds a deserted classroom and fills the air with cursing. He says “fuck” fifty different ways. He calls Umbridge a variety of unpleasant things, some of which Hermione would be  _very_  disappointed to hear from him, but which he’s saying just for the feel of the words in his mouth. He curses a blue streak and tries every rude word he knows.

After about twenty minutes, he hears a noise, and turns around to see that Professor McGonagall has come in and is watching him with raised eyebrows. “Are you quite done, Mr. Potter?”

He nods cheerfully. “Yes, Professor McGonagall. For the moment.”

“Good.” She pauses. “Not that I disagree  _particularly_  with any of those sentiments, Mr. Potter, but in the future you may wish to confine your elocution practice to less public spaces.” _  
_

He nods again, apologizing vaguely, and he could _swear_  he just saw her wink at him.


	9. Jason Todd and Daken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zethsaire asked: For the meme - Jason/Daken - gymnophoria and/or autolatry
> 
> Autolatry - The worship of one’s self

The most entertaining way to look at yourself, Daken has often thought, is as reflected in the eyes of someone besotted with you. Watching yourself move within their irises, watching  _them_  watch  _you,_  is a delight unlike any other. and this man he’s with today, this angry dead man with whom he has so much in common, is  _particularly_  fun.

He smiles at Jason Todd and says, “Tell me I’m pretty.”

Jason snorts. “Fuck you, Daken, you’re such a jackass.” He digs into the pocket of his jeans–which are in fact draped over the nightstand–and pulls out a packet of cigarettes. “You want a smoke?”

“I don’t smoke.”

“More for me, then.”

–

Jason sprawls on the bed with the cigarette between his fingers and grins. Daken is pleasantly warm beside him, curled up like a cat against his ribs with a book in hand.

Jason knows Daken is trying to use him, and he’s ok with that. It’s interesting. It’s a game to play, of who’s smarter, who’s using who.

Nobody ever realizes it, but Jason’s pretty smart himself.

He turns his head to murmur into Daken’s hair, “You wanna get dressed and go get in a fight, baby?”

Daken purrs. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Jason looks at himself reflected in Daken’s eyes and grins. “Let’s go paint the town red.”


	10. Stephanie Brown and Jason Todd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> axonsandsynapses asked: Any one (or more, but only if you feel like it) of the following: Stephanie Brown/Jason Todd, strikhedonia; Barbara Gordon/Dinah Lance, concilliabule; America Chavez/Kate Bishop, basorexia :)
> 
> Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”

Jason trips and almost falls off the building. “Oh  _shit–_ ”

“Oh my  _god._ ” Stephanie grabs his wrists, hauling him back up, laughing the whole while. “You almost fell on your head! Why would you  _do_  that?”

“It’s, uh…” he rubs at the back of his head with one hand, grinning awkwardly. “It’s kind of my thing.”

“Your  _thing?_  Falling on your head is your  _thing?_  Oh my god, Hood, some Bat  _you_ are!” She prances on the edge of the roof, delighted. “You’d think we weren’t both trained by  _oh shiiiit–_ ”

He catches her before she falls off the roof and grins as she climbs up his arm and gains her feet again. “What was that about  _some Bat?_ ”

She swats ineffectively at his arm. “Shut up, I take it back, we’re both idiots.”

He tries not to laugh, fails, and almost sends them  _both_  plummeting to the ground. They fall over, luckily managing to avoid rolling over the edge as Jason’s back hits the blacktop and Stephanie’s knees smack briefly into his midsection. He grunts, the air rushing out of his lungs, and  _she_  laughs, and then with very little warning she leans over and kisses him square on the mouth.

He blinks up at her. He’d never considered  _that_  before.

She grins at him.

After a moment he grins back. “We’re gonna make out on a roof, aren’t we?”

“Man, why the fuck not.” Her nose is flushed pink. “Doesn’t look like we’re getting anything  _useful_  done tonight.”


	11. Dinah Lance and Barbara Gordon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @axonsandsynapses also requested Dinah Lance/Barbara Gordon, 
> 
> Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot

“They always look like they’re plannin’ something,” says Zinda, taking a swig of her beer. “You ever noticed that, Bert?”

Helena doesn’t comment on the nickname. It’s a little strange, having Zinda give her a pet name, but at least it’s actually  _based_  on something. “Sort of? I mean, they usually  _are_  planning something. Or  _Babs_  is usually planning something, and it’s not like Dinah doesn’t always have her back.”

The women in question sit across the room, Dinah perched on an empty spot on Barbara’s desk, her feet swinging next to the wheels of Barbara’s chair, a carton of fried rice perched on one knee. She’s leaning down so Barbara can talk to her, the other woman’s mouth close to her ear.

“What’re they  _plannin’,_  though? I figure if there was any fun to be had round these parts, Babs woulda told us.” Zinda takes another drink. “I’m bored to  _death_ lately. Some excitement’d do me a  _world_  of good.”

Dinah turns her head now, she’s the one talking, and her nose is almost touching Barbara’s, their foreheads brush. Barbara’s laughing.

“Couldn’t tell ya.” Helena sighs. “I hope it’s something exciting. Otherwise all I have to look forward to over the weekend is grading book reports.”

They both look longingly over at Babs and Dinah, hoping for an announcement of something fun to do, something to put a little fizz in the day.

Only to catch their friends mid-kiss, eyes closed, Dinah’s fried rice put aside so she can hold Barbara’s hands.

Zinda makes a little pleased “hm” noise. “Well, ain’t  _that_  a sight. Say, Bert, y'think if they’re going steady Babs might not mind if I take a crack at that Nightwing fella?”


	12. Kate Bishop and America Chavez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next prompt, requested by both ducttapefae and axonsandsynapses, is AmeriKate!
> 
> Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss
> 
> I have decided, for no particular reason, to make this one a high school AU. It is based on this pair of gifs.

America Chavez had the best math grades in the tri-state area until she started taking classes with Kate Bishop.

Now…well, they're  _good,_  but they’d be a  _lot_  better if she spent more of her time in class focusing on learning and less of it wondering whether Kate’s panties are as expensive as her sunglasses, and if she’d maybe go for a loud jock with a reputation for getting in fights, and if her lips taste good.

Kate, for her part, is the person who  _now_  has the best math grades in the tri-state area, but only because she sits in the row in front of America, and thus can’t be distracted by the thought of her mouth.

–

The final part of basketball tryouts this year is a pickup game, with a mixture of new blood and old guard on each team to see how everyone meshes. America, of course, is old guard–she’s been the star of the three-point line ever since she joined the team freshman year. That means she can’t afford to let Kate distract her, no matter  _how_  cute the other girl looks in gym clothes.

They play, and America plays  _hard._

A little too hard, really, given that ten minutes in she lands a step wrong and her feet go out from under her and she knocks face first into someone on the other team and sends them both sprawling.  _Aaaaand_  her hands are full of boobs. Awkward.

She’s also a little dizzy. The girl underneath her says, “Are you all right?”

America is  _on top of Kate Bishop._  They could just…start making out, if they wanted to. _  
_

She says, “Uh.”

Kate grins up at her. “Not that I  _mind_  you grabbing my chest, but normally I’d expect pizza and a movie beforehand.”

“I. Shit. Sorry.” America scrambles to her feet and reaches down to help Kate up. “Here. You ok?”

“I’m fine.” Kate grabs her arms and takes her time about standing, sliding her fingers up America’s biceps a little more than seems strictly necessary. “You free after this? For that pizza and a movie?”

America feels herself blushing. “Yeah. Yeah.”


	13. Daken and Bullseye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> manicr asked: Brontide daken/bullseye?
> 
> Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder

Daken is asleep beside him in the bed, curled up tight around himself. His hair hangs in his eyes, and his claws are extended, just slightly, his hands twitching as if he’s dreaming of a fight. And he’s purring.

Lester’s had cats before, inasmuch as someone who moves around as much as he does can have a pet–which is to say he’s befriended strays, fed them for a while, and left them when he moved on. He’s pretty fond of the weird little fuckers. They know what they like, and they do what they want, and they purr. Purring is nice. Purring is a good sound.

He settles back against the pillows, and Daken immediately rolls towards him, draping himself over Lester’s chest–again, like a cat. His purring intensifies, and Lester can feel it in his bones, like loud music or the rolling of thunder.

Nothing about Daken is relaxing except this, and Lester is a man of many demons, and he knows from relaxing.

He’ll take this, while he can get it, but he’ll most likely kill Daken in the morning.


	14. Tommy Shepherd and David Alleyne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Thinkfast quidnunc (always knowing what's going on)
> 
> Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on

Being a speedster, especially one as fast as Tommy, means that wherever you want to be, you can be there in a heartbeat. Latveria, the Adirondacks, the men’s room at the football stadium right before the halftime rush…wherever you want to be, you’re there in seconds.

Based on David’s observations, being a speedster  _also_  makes you an unstoppable eavesdropping machine, since you can be gone before anyone realizes you’re there. And then he tells David about what he’s learned, because they're  _friends,_  and apparently also because David is very smart and will be able to “do something with this, David, we gotta  _do_  something about this  _knowledge,_ ” at which point David usually starts checking to see if he’s drunk. (He’s never drunk. He’s just a pain in the ass.)

So he pops in when David’s engaged in one of his more  _embarrassing_  hobbies and says, “Hey, Dave, guess who I just caught mackin’ it in a booth at the Westchester Olive Garden?”

David tabs away from his browser window in a hurry. “Who?”

“America and that shark chick. Iara. I knew Rica was some kinda epic space lesbian, but the shark chick’s a surprise. Whatcha doing?”

“Checking my blogs?”

“Nah, the  _other_  thing. The one you switched away from. C'mon, show.” Tommy grins and reaches for the mouse.

There’s a brief struggle, but Tommy is of course faster than David, and he fights dirty, so the website gets pulled back up and Tommy scans it and blinks.

“That porn star looks one  _hell_  of a lot like me. Except my chin ain’t that big. Man, I have been  _neglecting_  my spying where it comes to you.”


	15. Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Tommy + tarantism
> 
> Tarantism - The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing

There is no misery, Tommy thinks, that can’t at least  _sort_  of be solved by shaking your ass on the dance floor.

It’s not as much about him loving to dance–although he  _does_  love to dance–as it is about him being able to shut off his brain and take down the restraints. At the club nobody cares if he’s moving too fast for them to see. Half of them are out of their skulls on X anyway, and the other half just don’t give a shit. He can blur if he wants to, he can buzz, he can move like the fucking mutant he is and nobody can even  _try_  to tell him no. He can bust fifteen moves in the space of the first five seconds of the bass dropping and everyone just cheers.

When he’s dancing there’s no stress, no griping. No Billy too wrapped up in his depression and his boyfriend to think about his twin. No David mooning over Teddy, no Noh-Varr mooning over whatever alien shit he’s thinking about now, no Kate mooning over someone she won’t tell him about who’s probably America, no dead friends or broken promises.

There’s just music.

When he’s dancing he can see what Noh-Varr sees in collecting it.


	16. Tommy Shepherd and David Alleyne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Mamihlapinatapei with davidtommy (I'll send another I don't give a fuck) (these prompts are amazing)
> 
> Why not? ^_^ Also, oh my god, aren’t they? I need to get another of my books from my parents’ house, but then I’m definitely going to make up another one of these, this meme is fantastic.
> 
> Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move

They share the bathroom mirror in the morning. It’s the closest they’ve gotten in weeks.

Tommy brushes his teeth and flosses, with a slowness and care that he doesn’t show the rest of the time, because apparently he had a couple of bad cavities when he was younger and doesn’t intend to repeat the experience. David brushes his teeth and shaves, carefully so as to avoid nicks.

Their eyes meet in the mirror every morning, but neither one of them says anything.

On the third Friday, though, three weeks after they got drunk and didn’t say things, Tommy finishes brushing his teeth before David finishing shaving, and when David puts down the razor Tommy says, quietly, “You missed a spot.”

“Mm?” David frowns. “Where?”

Tommy raises his hand and taps the mirror, running the tip of his finger down the reflection of David’s cheek, where there’s a little more shaving cream clinging. “Right there. On your jaw.”

“Thanks.” David shaves that spot, then pauses and reaches out to touch the mirror bare centimeters away from where Tommy’s hand still lingers. “You’ve got a little bit of toothpaste there.”

“Shit, thanks.” Tommy turns the water on and rubs his hands under the warm flow.

When he turns the water off again, David reaches for the mirror, then changes direction at the last moment and catches his wrist. They watch each other warily in the mirror.

Tommy says, “I’m…I’m gonna need that hand.”

“If I let go will you run away?”

“I’ll try not to.”

“Then maybe you should look at me.”

“Only if you’ll look at me too.”

They turn at the same time, both a little too fast, and they run into each other, and they kiss and it’s like burning.


	17. Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ladynara-deactivated20150722 asked: For the meme- Capernoited: Matt Murdock/Foggy Nelson
> 
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy

Jen stares across the bar and says, faintly, “Patsy?”

Patsy looks up, startled. “Yes?”

“Is…is that Matt and Foggy?”

Patsy turns to look where Jen is looking, and her eyes widen. “It  _is._  What are they doing here?”

“Uh…singing, I think.” Jen tilts her head. “Yeah,  _definitely_  singing.” And she winces. “Off-key.”

The two men have their arms around each other’s shoulders, their beers hoisted high, and they’re halfway through a badly off-key rendition of “Little Red Corvette.” The barflies around them are clapping and cheering, fairly drunk themselves.

Jen and Patsy watch for a moment, and then they both start blinking, and Patsy says, “And now they’re…kissing. Do they normally do that?”

“…no. No, that’s new.”


	18. Tim Drake, Barbara Gordon, and Dick Grayson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grizlatron asked: ok, for the meme! Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on.- tim and babs (gossip bros 5ever) get up-staged by Dick! i don't mind weather or not it's romantic or if you want to combine it with another ask, i'll like it either way! ^.^ <3
> 
> Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on

Babs swats gently at Tim’s shoulder. “Get off my desk, baby bird.”

He grins and slides down smoothly into an office chair, passing her three thick packets. “Brought you my negatives.”

“Ooh, you  _do_  know what girls like.” She gives him a peck on the cheek before tucking the negatives into a compartment on the console. “See anything interesting?”

“Not a ton. A couple of Two-Face’s guys getting drunk in an alleyway. Also I think there might be a superhero-themed escort service in the city now.”

“I  _have_  seen them. Do they seem to be up to anything?”

“No, they’re just…they’re making a living.”

And Dick drops down from the ceiling. “Hey guysssss. Whatcha talking about?”

Tim nearly falls off his chair, and Babs claps a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Dick blinks, his hair brushing the keys of Babs’ console. “What?”

“Uh…so Dick.” Tim’s picking himself back up, slowly. “Did you know there are sex workers in Gotham who dress up as you?”


	19. Peter Parker and Dick Grayson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> albatchy asked: Duende - Spiderwing (the wonderful brotp)
> 
> Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm

“Ok, so.” Dick puts Peter’s hand on his hip. “Pretend I’m the girl.”

Peter snorts. “I don’t think anyone in the  _world_  could pretend you’re a girl. Also, why are you teaching me how to do a Viennese waltz on top of the Gotham Mutual building? I figured we’d be practicing in a gym or something, all I need is to be able to make a good impression.”

“I don’t know, it just…seemed like a good spot. Lots of floor space.” Dick purses his lips, staring fixedly into the air for a moment. “Anyway, gimme a second…all you really need to do is follow my feet. Copy what my feet do but backwards.”

“What you do but backwards. Got it.”

“On three. One, two, three…”

They whirl around the roof, Dick keeping up a continuous stream of commentary about how Peter needs to move, how to navigate a crowded dance floor, how to handle people cutting in, and the best way to avoid stepping on anyone’s toes. The pace is fast, but the dance is simple, and Peter picks it up pretty quickly. “This is fun.”

“Isn’t it? I love dancing.”

They spin to a stop and hear applause.

Dick looks up and blinks. “Can I. Uh. Can I help you?”

Stephanie, Cass, Dinah, Helena, and Zinda are perched on the edge of the rooftop, watching them with fascinated concentration. Tim is tucked into a corner between a pipe and the little roof door, a camera in one hand. Jason is across from Tim, phone out, the screen glowing as snaps a picture. Damian’s sitting on Bruce’s shoulder at the other end of the roof.

Peter grins weakly. “Hey…guys?”

“Oh, don’t let  _us_  stop you.” Zinda grins and eats a handful of popcorn. “I haven’t been to a show this good in  _ages._ ”


	20. Fitz and Simmons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> neist asked: Also capernoited Fitzsimmons?
> 
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy

“I’m all right!” Fitz sits up with a start. “I’m all right, I’m all right.”

“You’re not all right, Fitz, you were sleeping on the table.” Gemma blinks blearily, then looks down at herself. “And so am I. On top of you.”

Fitz immediately goes red. “How much did I drink?”

“Enough. You drank enough, I drank enough, we’re both unhappy.” She moves. The light gets in her eyes. She groans massively. “We should never try to outdrink Melinda May.”

“Did we…do anything while we were drunk?”

“Will you  _concentrate,_  Fitz, I have a headache.” After a moment she manages to roll off of him. “Ugh. Hangovers.”

Fitz is just staring at the ceiling. “Did you kiss me? I remember you kissing me.”

Gemma raises a hand, starts to respond, then stops, frowning. “I…I think I  _did_ kiss you. Did you tell me I was pretty?”

“You  _are_  pretty.”

She beams at him, and then winces, and he beams back at her, and then winces, and then they both say, “Ugh. Hangovers.”


	21. Tim Drake and Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do Timkon Brontide please?
> 
> Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder

He arrives in a roar like thunder, the rushing air around him rattling windows and knocking over boxes as he flies.

Tim grins crookedly at the gang members who are still standing, blood streaming from a cut in his forehead. “ _Never_  underestimate Plan B.”

The last one falls just as the cops are getting close.

As soon as the lights from the cop cars are visible, Kon sweeps Tim up and takes off, and when they’re high enough he roars,  _“Plan B?”_

Tim blinks swollen eyes, still grinning. “I was kinda in over my head there.”

“You are an  _idiot_  and I’m telling  _Batman._ ” Kon cradles Tim to his chest with enormous gentleness, despite seeming otherwise furious. “You could have gotten  _killed!_ ”

“I knew you’d come for me.” Tim rests his head on Kon’s shoulder and lets his eyes close. “You always do.”

“I couldn’t handle it if you  _died,_  though.”

“Not gonna die.” He pauses. “I might have a concussion, though.”


	22. Tim Drake and Kon-El (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do a Tim/Bart Basorexia fic, and a Noh/Tommy Mamihlapinatapei fic please?
> 
> Directly following on that last one, more TimKon
> 
> Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss
> 
> I uh. Misread this prompt.

Kon says, “You’re a reckless jackass,” and kisses Tim on the forehead.

“I come from a long line of reckless jackasses.” Tim grins, his gaze unfocused. “It’s a family tradition.”

“I’m not saving you next time.” Another kiss, on the nose.

“Liar.” Tim tries to sit up a bit straighter, but promptly gets dizzy and has to lie back down. “You’re my knight. With a k-nuh.”

“That’s not a safe attitude.” Kon covers Tim’s mouth with a kiss, moving carefully so as not to aggravate his split lip. “And it’s not an excuse to do things that could get you killed.”

“Can’t help it. Family tradition.” Tim laughs, a little too loud. “I'm  _really_  tired.”

“Well, you’re not allowed to go to sleep yet, you have a concussion.”

“Then you should get in the bed with me.”

“I’m not allowed to, you have a sprained ankle, Alfred would kill me.”

Tim pouts dizzily. “Then kiss me again. I have to stay awake  _somehow._ ”


	23. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonamouse also requested some Nohmmy ^_^
> 
> Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move

The sun comes up at an offensive hour, and of course none of them thought to close the curtains in the confusion of the previous night, so Kate rolls out of bed with a groan and shuffles off to brush her teeth. As she disappears into the bathroom, she mutters, “I hate daytime.”

Tommy’s been awake for five minutes already, staring at the ceiling with the puzzlement of a man who knows  _how_  he got in the situation that he’s in, but doesn’t know the  _why_  of it. He rolls over towards the center of the bed, intending to move into Kate’s warm spot and not think about it for a few more minutes, but it turns out that Noh-Varr is doing the same thing.

They stop inches apart and stare at each other.

Noh-Varr’s hair is tousled from sleep, two long tendrils falling in his eyes, and there’s sunlight illuminating the planes of his bare chest. He looks…kissable. Like, potentially in a non-“Kate is there too” context. Which is vaguely terrifying and weird.

Noh-Varr is staring at his lips.

“I.” Tommy’s throat is dry. “Do you. Uh. Want some breakfast? I can. Go get us all some takeout.”

“I like…breakfast.” It’s easy to forget how deep Noh-Varr’s voice is, he doesn’t look like someone who should have such a deep voice. “We could all use something to eat.”

Moving means disturbing the weight distribution of the mattress, so as soon as Tommy sits up at all he rolls towards Noh, who throws up a hand to stop him from toppling over and  _somehow_  ends up with his arm around Tommy’s waist.

They look at each other.

Tommy says, breathless, “I should go get breakfast.”


	24. Merlin Baker and Frigga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked: I just had a thought about drabbles of Merlin meeting different characters for the first time, so I thought I'd send an extra two too start the idea with. Frigga (Thor's mother) (Petrichor), and Mystique (Strikhedonia).
> 
> Merlin Baker meeting Frigga
> 
> Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground

She’s tall, much taller than any of the three of them, and she leans down and cups the side of Merlin’s face with the tenderness of a loving parent and kisses him on the forehead as the rain slows and stops. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Merlin Baker.”

He stares up at her, then bows nervously because he can’t think of anything else that’d even be vaguely appropriate. “It’s nice to meet you too. Uh. Ma'am.”

She smiles at him, and the rain dries off his skin and out of his clothes and hair in a wave of warmth like an embrace.

He just keeps staring at her. He’s not even crushing. He just wants, more than anything, for her to be happy.

Then she looks past him to his mothers and her smile brightens, and she reaches for Carol’s hand and says, “And you. Carol Baker. You helped my son in a time of need. And Shelly, who is kin to the man who loves my son. I have been wanting to talk to you for some time.”


	25. Merlin Baker and Mystique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world also asked for Merlin Baker and Mystique
> 
> Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”

After the fighting’s done and everyone is sitting around getting patched up, the kids get deputized to bring water and food to the injured. They bustle around the Xavier School gymnasium in twos and threes, carrying trays of hot food and pots of tea, then going back for more.

Raven, sitting on a corner of the bleachers with her leg splinted, accepts a tray of sandwiches and water from the red-haired boy and nods her thanks. He blushes and gabbles something and runs away.

She lifts up her glass of water, and there’s a slip of paper underneath it.

The boy’s phone number is on it.

Raven reads it over, looks across the gym to where he’s getting another tray, and then tosses her head back and laughs.


	26. Betsy Braddock and Jason Todd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: I know it's a little late, but I was thinking about possible OTPs that could appear in the multiverse, and I thought of a great prompt. Sphallolalia featuring Psylocke/Jason Todd
> 
> Sphallolalia - Flirtatious talk that leads no where

Jason wakes up tied up, which is way more of a familiar sensation than he’d happily admit. And not only is he tied up, he’s tied  _to_  someone.  _That_  part’s a little weirder.

He twists around, trying to get an idea of where he is, of who he’s tied to. The room he’s in is biggish and dimly lit, and there are several other bound pairs around him–some people he knows, others are unfamiliar and probably the kind of  _extra foreign_  heroes Bats and his buddies have been hanging with lately.

The women he's  _tied_  to has purple hair, and she’s already awake. She smirks at him. “‘bout time you woke up, lad.”

He grins at her, ignoring the pain in his head. “Have I been out long?”

“Quite long enough. You can’t get us untied, can you? Only I’ve broken a couple of fingers.” Her tone’s sharp, but she’s smiling in a resigned way, as if this is something she’s gotten used to.

“Already on it.” Because untying ropes when you’re in them is something  _every_ Robin learns. “So what’s a pretty lady like you doing in a dungeon like this?”

“Oh, you know. The usual.” The ropes fall away, and his companion stretches luxuriously. “For that matter, what’s a strapping young man like you doing untying ropes so quickly? And…” her eyebrows shoot up as he goes to get everyone else free, “carrying such a big knife?”

Jason smirks as he slices through the bindings holding Dinah to a black woman with a snow-white mohawk. “It’s a skill of mine. I’ll let you hold it if you like, though.”

“I do love a man with a big…knife.” She looks way too pleased at this point, and now there’s some kind of purple energy glowing around her eyes. “I think mine might be bigger, though.”

A glowing purple sword appears in her hand.

Jason lets out a low whistle. “Ooh,  _baby._  Now  _that_  is  _my_  kind of  _knife._ ”


	27. Kamala Khan and Merlin Baker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: If the meme is still happening, could you do a Petrichor fic where Kamala meets Merlin a few hours before she becomes Miss Marvel, and then goes looking for him to find out how he knew what was going to happen
> 
> Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground

It’s a terrible party.

It’s chilly and wet, and not really lit well enough for anyone

It’s a terrible party.

It’s chilly and wet, and not really lit well enough for anyone to see. The popular kids are still shitty, and Kamala feels shitty too, because she got suckered in. She’s about to make a break for it and hopefully sneak back into her room unnoticed when someone says, “Hey, Kamala.”

“I…” She frowns. “Hi?”

The boy has floppy, vividly red hair and a purple hoodie, and he’s holding a cup of soda. He keeps looking up at the sky. “You ditching the party?”

“Uh…yeah."  _Do we have a class together or something? I mean, he’s kinda **cute.**  Really  **white,**  but cute._ "I’m not really having fun.”

“Yeah, me neither. Mainly I’m here because my boyfriends wanted to dance.” He waves his hand in the direction of a shorter boy with reddish hair and another one whose hair  _can’t_  be white, can it? who are laughing at they dance to the music on the stereo. “I. Uh. I think there’s a storm coming. You should take a way home with good lights. And…don’t freak out. If something weird happens just don’t freak out.”

“Weird like  _what?_ ”

“I…uh…I don’t know. Like. X-Men weird. It’s a weird night.”

–

A few days later, weird shit having  _definitely_  happened, Kamala sees the red-haired boy on the street and shouts, “Hey! You!”

He turns around with a start. “Holy  _shit._  Uh. Hi, I was actually just looking for you!”

She catches up to him, grabs his wrist, and says, “Weird stuff happened. Like you said.  _X-Men weird._ How’d you  _know?_ ”

He grins nervously. “That’s actually a  _really_  long story.”

“Well,  _tell me it._  Also what’s even your name, we definitely don’t have class together.”

“I’m Merlin.” He glances around. “Let’s duck into the library. And I’m kind of the…uh…well, I’m sort of a talent scout.”

to see. The popular kids are still shitty, and Kamala feels shitty too, because she got suckered in. She’s about to make a break for it and hopefully sneak back into her room unnoticed when someone says, “Hey, Kamala.”

“I…” She frowns. “Hi?”

The boy has floppy, vividly red hair and a purple hoodie, and he’s holding a cup of soda. He keeps looking up at the sky. “You ditching the party?”

“Uh…yeah."  _Do we have a class together or something? I mean, he’s kinda **cute.**  Really  **white,**  but cute._ "I’m not really having fun.”

“Yeah, me neither. Mainly I’m here because my boyfriends wanted to dance.” He waves his hand in the direction of a shorter boy with reddish hair and another one whose hair  _can’t_  be white, can it? who are laughing at they dance to the music on the stereo. “I. Uh. I think there’s a storm coming. You should take a way home with good lights. And…don’t freak out. If something weird happens just don’t freak out.”

“Weird like  _what?_ ”

“I…uh…I don’t know. Like. X-Men weird. It’s a weird night.”

–

A few days later, weird shit having  _definitely_  happened, Kamala sees the red-haired boy on the street and shouts, “Hey! You!”

He turns around with a start. “Holy  _shit._  Uh. Hi, I was actually just looking for you!”

She catches up to him, grabs his wrist, and says, “Weird stuff happened. Like you said.  _X-Men weird._ How’d you  _know?_ ”

He grins nervously. “That’s actually a  _really_  long story.”

“Well,  _tell me it._  Also what’s even your name, we definitely don’t have class together.”

“I’m Merlin.” He glances around. “Let’s duck into the library. And I’m kind of the…uh…well, I’m sort of a talent scout.”


	28. Merlin Baker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Hi, I really like your fics and I was wondering if you could do two for me. A Concilliabule fic about Merlin, and a Mamihlapinatapei fic with Tim/Kon (or Tommy/Noh)
> 
> Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot

“He’s been having nightmares lately.” Noh-Varr frowns. “Is that normal for humans? You’ve been dealing with them longer than I have.”

M'gann shrugs, eyebrows wrinkling. “I…I don’t know. I mean, we all have bad dreams. Are these worse than usual?”

“He wakes up screaming. It’s very disturbing. He talks about the Joker, but I don’t know who that is.”

“ _Oh._  He…he hasn’t told you about that?” She glances across the room quickly, to where Merlin’s curled up on the couch with his iTab, his hood pulled down so that his face is hidden almost entirely. “About the auction?”

Noh-Varr shakes his head. “We all have things we don’t want to talk about. I don’t ask him about it, and he doesn’t ask me about…”

“About home.”

“Yeah.”

She smiles, sort of, and leans toward him until their foreheads touch for a moment. “We’ll figure out something to help him out. If nothing else, he should probably talk to his mother.”


	29. Tim Drake and Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the last prompt from this long-ago meme, for the anon, who asked for TimKon,
> 
> Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move

Kon comes out of the showers toweling his hair dry and Tim is taking is shirt off. The fabric’s over his ears, his arms trapped inside it, but he hears Kon come in and he freezes. “I thought you were done. I thought Bart was showering.”

“Yeah he…he was showering too. But you know Bart. He. Uh. He finished up quickly.” Kon stammers, realizes he’s stammering, tries not to stare at the scars on Tim’s ribs, and  _then_  realizes that his towel’s still in his hair and hurriedly shifts it down to cover his groin.

Tim manages to get his shirt off the rest of the way, which means that he’s not trapped but also that Kon can see that he's  _blushing._  Which is fair. Since Kon is also blushing.

They’ve seen each other naked before. It’s nothing new.

Tim says, “I…I should go shower.”

“Yeah.” Kon nods, reaches for his sweatpants. “You should. Showers. Showers are good. Cleanliness is important.”

“Definitely.”

Tim manages to brush against him on the way to the showers despite the fact that there’s plenty of room, and they stumble apart and turn bright red and Kon considers kissing him but doesn’t.

He says, “Have. Have a good shower. See you at dinner.”

“Yeah.” Tim sounds breathless. “I’ll…see you at dinner.


	30. Tommy Shepherd and David Alleyne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bisexualhappyquinn asked: tommydavid & tarantism (or gymnophoria, if you prefer)?
> 
> I have a couple of other dancing fics to do, so mental nudity it is!
> 
> Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you

Tommy drapes himself across the couch and groans. “Why do you  _always_  have to do your workout thing  _right in front of the TV?_ ”

“Because I don’t have a physical mutation that causes me to constantly maintain muscle mass?” David bends to one side, then to the other. “And this is where I have the most space, since my bedroom’s pretty small.”

“But why nowwwww?” Tommy rolls over and presses his face into the couch cushions, hoping to conceal how red his face is getting, but turns back just a moment later. “We  _could_  be watching  _cartoons._ ”

He’s going to  _kill_  whoever invented Downward Dog.

David turns his head to the side, still arched with his backside distractingly in the air. He follows Tommy’s gaze, blinks, and starts to stare fixedly at the ground. “We can. Uh. Watch cartoons instead if you want.”

“No, no,” Tommy says weakly. “Do what you like. I’ll just…be here.”


	31. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> neist asked: For the meme, if I'm not too late. B/T tarantism cos I'm just hauling myself out of melancholy & cuties dancing in my head can only help
> 
> This one’s a little out of order, but I just had a cute idea. ^_^ Dancing cutes for neist!
> 
> Tarantism - The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing

Billy’s not an especially physical person. He keeps in shape just fine, but when left to his own devices he’s more likely to curl up on the couch with a comic book or marathon cartoons than anything that involves getting up. He likes lying down somewhere soft, he likes quiet places, and when he’s…up…he likes the inside of his own head.

But Teddy is, or has been, an athlete. He’s physical in a way that Billy doesn’t even  _get._  And when he’s feeling down he  _loves_  to dance.

And he’s had “Anaconda” stuck in his head for a week.

“Billy,” he says, after watching the music video for the third time in one day, “ _do_  I have a nice ass?”

Billy blinks. “I…think my actions speak louder than my words here.”

“Well. Yes. But  _seriously._ ” Teddy puts down his pen, gets out of his chair, and does a little dance. “Does it  _look_ nice?”

“Hm.” Billy strokes his chin thoughtfully, wondering in the back of his mind whether he should shave or start trying to grow a beard. “I don’t know, I’d have to see it in action more.”

“Well, what about when I do  _this?_ ” More dancing, this time with a hip gyration that’s fairly bad for Billy’s composure.

“I mean, that’s definitely  _pleasant._  It’s a  _very_  good shape.”

Teddy grins. “I bet I could do a lap dance like Nicki at the end of the video.”

First Billy starts to laugh. Then he pictures it seriously and stops laughing. “I don’t think my heart could handle that.” Pause. “ _I_  could do a lap dance like Nicki does.” _  
_

Teddy’s sitting down in a heartbeat. “I volunteer as your guinea pig. Should I start up the song again?”


	32. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Capernoited Nohmmy please :)
> 
> Have I mentioned that this is by far the most popular word?
> 
> Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy

Tommy’s back is against the wall and his feet are both off the ground, his legs wrapped tight around Noh-Varr’s waist. He’s clawing holes in the back of Noh-Varr’s t-shirt (something for the Fermilab Muon Slo-Pitch Softball team, apparently?) while Noh does something  _mildly_  evil and  _definitely_  sexy to his throat.

He lets out a debauched moan, and then gets distracted and starts laughing, and  _then_  Noh-Varr hiccups and says, “Sorry. Sorry. Scuse me. I have a song stuck in my head.”

“Which one?” Tommy blinks at him fuzzily. “Good song?”

“It’s…it’s the one, you know the one, da-da-da-da-da-DA-da…”

“I  _love_  that song. Can you put. Uh. Put me down? I wanna suck your dick.”

Noh-Varr hiccups again. “But if you do that then you’ll just regret it in the morning. You're  _very_  drunk.”

Tommy peers at him. “So are  _you._  Who says  _you_  won’t regret it in the morning?”

“Uh.” Noh-Varr blinks owlishly. “I'm  _older_  than you. I know better.”

“Cradle-robber.”

“Nymphomaniac.”

“Ok, look. Look look look. How about…” Tommy trails off, staring into space, before regaining his train of thought. “How about we  _don’t_  have sex. But then we have a ton of sex in the  _morning_  when we're  _sure._ ”

Noh-Varr nods gingerly. “That’s very. Mature. While still involving us having sex. I like it.”

“I’m gonna throw up now.”

“I’ll carry you to the bathroom.”


	33. Special Agent Arthur Flint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: I hope you don't mind, but could you do a Ultracrepidarian fic, featuring Agent Flint, who keeps going to your other OCs for information/help
> 
> It is delightful to me that Agent Flint has a fan. ^_^
> 
> Ultracrepidarian - Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge

“Dr. Baker?”

Carol looks up from her weeding, surprised. “Agent Flint! We weren’t expecting you, is something wrong?”

Arthur grins nervously. “Uh. Not really? I wanted some advice, and I thought you’d be the person to come to.”

Carol blinks, frowns, and then stands up and tugs off her gardening gloves. “Should we head inside to my office?”

“Oh, no. No. Not like  _professional_  advice.”

She peers at him. “…ok, you have my attention.”

There’s a long pause, and then he says it all in a rush. “What’s the best way to get Huntress to notice me?”

“I.” Carol blinks. “That’s…not really my field, hon. She’s a little too…straight…for me. Maybe you should be asking my wife, she’s better with the whole dating thing.”

–

Shelly frowns when he asks her, thinks about it for a moment, and then says, “I don’t know, honey. DC stuff isn’t really in my wheelhouse. Did you ask Carol?”

Arthur grins nervously. “She said to ask you.”

“Well…” She chews on her lip. “She’s sort of like a…Batman-type person, right? She wears all that purple? I mean…you could ask her for a crossbow lesson.”

–

Arthur sits down on the garden wall and sighs.

“Hey, Agent Flint! What’s up?”

He looks up with a start. “Hello, Merlin. I didn’t know you were home.”

“Just got home. It’s semester finals, I had a half day.” Merlin hops up onto the wall beside him. “Normally I’d hop over and go bug someone, but everyone else is busy. How was your vacation?”

“Hot.” Arthur laughs. “Not that it’s ever  _not_  hot.”

“Yeah, I hear Haiti’s like that. Is your sister doing ok?”

“Better now that she’s out of the hospital. And the baby’s loud as  _hell._ ” Arthur grins. “It was a good trip.” Then he pauses. “… _you_  don’t have any good tips for how I could get Huntress to notice me, do you?”

Merlin blinks. “Dude, I’m seventeen. I got my first real boyfriend by accident. Why are you asking  _me?_ ”


	34. Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zethsaire asked: For the meme!! Jay/Tim/Kon - "Are you fucking kidding me?" Because it's such a Jason line. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here begins the next meme:
> 
> Send me two or more characters and a number and I’ll write a drabble / ficlet.  
> myquantumtheory:
> 
> (Some of these are from my brain; some of them are from this dialogue generator.)
> 
> “Can I kiss you?”  
> “I can’t let you do that.”  
> “You came back.”  
> “I’m flirting with you.”  
> “Are you drunk?”  
> “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”  
> “How long has it been?”  
> “I’ll be right over.”  
> “You know, it’s okay to cry.”  
> “I just want this.”  
> “You don’t need to protect me.”  
> “You can’t protect me.”  
> “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”  
> “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”  
> “Please don’t argue.”  
> “I did a pregnancy test.”  
> “I didn’t know you could sing.”  
> “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”  
> “Come home with me.”

“Are you  _fucking_  kidding me?”

Tim doesn’t even look up from his book. “No. Why would I be kidding you?”

Kon’s fidgeting with the PS3 controller. “Look are you going to pick your character or not?”

Scowling, Jason flips around the screen until he finds Guile. “You just. You bought us a  _vacation?_  Without  _telling_  us?”

“Well,  _yes,_  Jason, if I'd  _told_  you then it wouldn’t be a surprise. That’s what surprise gifts are all about.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not excited.” Kon moves his cursor over to Zangief and then pauses, his thumb hovering over the X button. “Sun. Sand. A secluded beach.” He licks his lips. “Suntan oil…”

Jason turns slightly pink. “You’re getting off topic.”

“I think the  _massive_  amounts of sex we’re going to have in our secluded beach cabin in Tahiti is  _exactly_  what we’re discussing.” Tim’s still not looking up from his book. He looks pleased with himself. “Anyway, I suspect you’re just arguing for the sake of arguing.”

“Well,  _yeah,_  but. I don’t like surprises.”

“You’ve said on more than one occasion that not liking surprises doesn’t extend to ‘surprise, we’re going on vacation to Tahiti.’” Tim lowers his book just enough to wink at him. “I figured you were dropping hints.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did two other memes after this one, with a similar format. They blend into each other pretty seamlessly, so I'll just post them right here too.
> 
> Send me two or more characters and a number and I’ll write a drabble / ficlet.  
> myquantumtheory:
> 
> (Some of these are from my brain; some of them are from this dialogue generator.)
> 
> “Can I kiss you?”  
> “I can’t let you do that.”  
> “You came back.”  
> “I’m flirting with you.”  
> “Are you drunk?”  
> “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”  
> “How long has it been?”  
> “I’ll be right over.”  
> “You know, it’s okay to cry.”  
> “I just want this.”  
> “You don’t need to protect me.”  
> “You can’t protect me.”  
> “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”  
> “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”  
> “Please don’t argue.”  
> “I did a pregnancy test.”  
> “I didn’t know you could sing.”  
> “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”  
> “Come home with me.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Ridiculous Sentence Prompts  
> toxixpumpkin:
> 
> “Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”  
> “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“   
> “Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”  
> “Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”  
> “The skirt is short on purpose.”  
> “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”  
> “So why did I have to punch that guy?”  
> “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”  
> “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”  
> “Please stop petting the test subjects. ”  
> “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”  
> “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle"   
> "So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”  
> “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”  
> “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”  
> “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”  
> “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”  
> “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”


	35. Daken and Bullseye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> manicr asked: Daken/Bullseye "Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?

Lester’s only letting Daken stay in the bed with him because he knows that if he kicks the other man out, Daken will just whine and pout and then do something petty to fuck with him. Daken’s warm, anyway, and with the metal in his bones Lester is always chilly, so it suits him fine.

He grunts irritably as Daken cuddles up next to him, face in the side of his neck, slim fingers running over the top of his head (fuzzed a bit with blond hair–he needs a shave). “Mm,” Daken purrs. “You smell good, precious.”

“Look, all I said was you could stay.” Lester yanks up the blanket. “I didn’t sign up for any fucking pillow talk.”

“Whatever you like.” Daken’s legs tangle with his. “What _ever_  you like.”

“Just go the fuck to sleep.” Lester yawns.

“Good night, Lester.”

“Yeah. G'night.” Lester fights off a yawn of his own and fails, letting his face relax into Daken’s hair. On the tail of the yawn, he breathes, “Love you.”

And then he realizes what he’s just said, and so does Daken, who goes very still.

“…can we pretend I didn’t just say that?”

“No, I don’t think we can,” Daken’s smiling mouth says to his jugular. “But we can put off discussing it until the morning.”


	36. Dick Grayson and Kori'andr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meri47 asked: Dick and Kory (fluffiest of fluffy couples), "I think you missed your calling!"

Dick’s on grill.

That doesn’t sound like it’d be a super complicated job, but at the Titans reunion picnic it’s definitely a chore, given how much some of them eat. But Dick’s up to the task. He’s got three grills running, arranged in a semi-circle–hamburgers on one, hot dogs on the next, veggie burgers on the third–and he’s flipping like a pro. Half the time he doesn’t even turn around to move from one grill to the next, he just bends backwards, flipping burgers over his head like a showman.

He’s got four people served, and warm arms wrap around his waist. “I think you missed your calling,” Kory says, grinning, her chin on his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah. I’d have made a wonderful short-order cook.” He scoops another hot dog off the grill and into a bun. “I could open a diner. The Nightwing Diner. Cornflakes all day and burgers whenever I’m in.”

“You could make a special cornflake burger.”

“ _Hell_  yes. That’s brilliant. We’re doing that  _right now._  Are there cornflakes? Gar probably brought cornflakes, didn’t he?”

She starts to laugh. “Not  _now,_  Dick.”

“Gar!” Dick starts waving his spatula. “Did you bring cornflakes? I want to try something!”

“Dick,  _no!_ ”


	37. Thomas Blake and Floyd Lawton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elagabalvs asked: Thomas/Floyd "Are you flirting with me?"

“Dammit, Tom, will you hurry  _up?_ ”

Thomas grunts irritably. “I can only climb so fast, you know. I don’t have a lot of room to move here.”

“Yeah, well, neither do we.” Floyd flaps his elbows, bumping the walls of the access shaft. “Not that I’m not enjoyin’ the view, but get a move on.”

Scowling, Thomas continues to climb, and then stops suddenly five feet further up. Floyd, who’s twisted around for a moment to say something to Bane, doesn’t notice until the top of his head hits the back of one of Thomas’ knees.

“Whoa. What the hell? You see something up there?”

There’s a pause, and then Thomas says, slowly, “Are you  _flirting_  with me? Or. Were you flirting with me just then?”

Another pause.

A longer pause.

“Yeah, maybe. You wanna make something of it?”

A  _yet longer pause._

From somewhere beneath Floyd, Scandal lets out an exasperated sigh. “Let’s get this over with. Thomas, Floyd thinks you’re attractive and would like to sleep with you. Floyd, Thomas has been wanting to sleep with you for  _two years._ However, we are  _currently_  stuck in a  _very narrow access shaft_  and would like to continue moving. You can keep talking about it later, we’ll give you some privacy.”

“Of course. Sorry, Scandal.” Thomas keeps climbing, but he starts humming to himself smugly.

Scandal reaches up and pats Floyd on the back of the leg. “We’ll give you two some space when we’re out.”


	38. Savant and Creote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ashkaztra asked: Savant/Creote - "Must be a day ending in y." :D

“Batman is angry with us.”

“Must be a day ending in y.” Brian shrugs and starts looking around for his pants. “At least he has a good reason for it this time.”

Sasha coughs. “Ah. Well. Yes. Do you happen to see where my shirt ended up?”

“I think it’s on top of that gargoyle. Here, I’ll get it.” Brian scrambles up onto Sasha’s shoulders, blithely confident in Sasha’s ability to keep him from falling over.

Sasha looks significantly less sanguine about the situation. “That’s a grotesque, not a gargoyle.”

Brian’s feet leave Sasha’s shoulders, which is worrying until he drops down upside-down, hanging by his knees from the stone carving with Sasha’s shirt in his hands and a sunny smile on his face. “I couldn’t care less. Angry Batman or not, this was  _entirely_  worth it.”


	39. Peter Parker and Dick Grayson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Spiderwing, "I’ve got one word for you: sing-along!"

Dick swings gleefully on his line. “If Oracle was watching this she’d probably have something to say about Maypole imagery right about now.”

“Right. And, like, psychosexual whatsit.” Peter swings past him in the other direction. They high-five as they whoosh by each other. “Or something.”

“Well, no, that’s not really her jam, she just gets in moods where she likes to get on my case about how much phallic imagery gets tied up in the superhero business.” Finished, Dick lands lightly on his feet, and a moment later Peter lands next to him. “It’s all out of love, you see. She wouldn’t be who she is if she didn’t make fun of me constantly.”

“That’s actually really cute.” Peter looks up at the street lamp. “How you guys doing up there?”

One of the Serpent Society guys, halfway up the lamppost, says something rude.

“That’s what I figured. Now, look, cops are gonna be on their way, you want us to hang with you until they get here? Kill some time?”

More cursing.

Dick frowns. “What’s your name? You’re Corn Snake, right? Corn Snake, you shouldn’t swear like that in public, children might hear you.”

“These guys clearly weren’t loved enough as children themselves.” Peter sighs. “It’s sad, really.”

“Hm. Well, maybe we should try to bring them a little bit of the magic of childhood? You know, before they get arrested?”

They pause, and then Peter looks up with dawning joy. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Nightwing?”

“I think so, Spider-man, but where am I going to find a milk cow in New York City?”

“Oh my god, they have those cartoons where you’re from? That’s  _awesome._  But seriously. I’ve got  _one_  word for you.  _Singalong._ ”

“Ohhhh. That's  _way_  better than what I was thinking.” Nightwing claps his hands. “All right, guys! Cops are on their way, but we’ve got a few minutes! Who knows the words to ‘The Itsy Bitsy Spider’?”


	40. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> materassassino asked: Nohmmy "Wait right there, don’t move!"

“I can’t believe you’re dragging me to a concert.”

“Tommy, you  _like_  concerts.”

Tommy screws up his face. “I like  _metal_  concerts. I don’t even know who this St. Vincent chick  _is._ ”

“You’ll like it. Don’t complain so much.” Noh-Varr hugs him one-armed. “I think your look needs something.”

“Since when are  _you_  the fashion expert?”

“Just…wait right there. Don’t move.”

Before Tommy can say, “What do you  _mean,_  don't  _move,_ ” Noh-Varr is gone.

And a moment later he’s back with…

“Noh-Varr. Is that eyeliner.”

“I borrowed it from Kate.”

“You're  _not putting eyeliner on me.”_

“It’ll look good on you.” Noh-Varr pauses.  _“Please.”_

Tommy sits down, grumbling, and lifts his face up into Noh-Varr’s astonishingly gentle touch.

–

They make it through the concert, but only through sheer force of will–the show itself is excellent, the music is wonderful, but unexpectedly, “Tommy in eyeliner” means “Noh-Varr is uncontrollably turned on." The only thing that keeps them from having sex in the bathroom of the Dunkin Donuts next to the venue is that Noh-Varr’s enhanced senses means he doesn’t want to go anywhere near it.

Kate has to hound them for a week before she gets her eyeliner back.


	41. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> materassassino asked: Billy/Teddy "I’ve got one word for you: sing-along!"

“Remind me again why we didn’t just have Billy teleport us to Disney World?”

“Because a key part of a ‘team road trip’ is that we go on the  _road,_  Tommy.” Kate grins at him in the rearview mirror. “It’s a bonding experience.”

They don’t really fit in Kate’s tiny little bean of a car. Or. Well. They  _didn’t_  until Billy pulled some sort of witchy-fingers business, and now there’s an eerie TARDIS effect, where on the outside it’s still a rickety little sedan but inside the front is a luxurious bench seat and the back could comfortably seat ten people. Billy and Teddy are leaning against each other next to Kate, having been declared jointly in charge of air conditioning and music. Noh-Varr, Tommy, David, and America are sprawling in the back, with Eli stretched on the ledge of the rear window taking a nap.

"Kate, this is the slowest I’ve moved voluntarily in years. I vote Billy teleports us there.”

Kate sighs. “Billy? Teddy? I think you need to give Tommy a little lesson in team togetherness.”

The two young men glance at each other as Tommy groans explosively, and Teddy says, slowly, “I’ve got one word for you.” He leans in close and stage-whispers,  _“Singalong,”_  into Billy’s ear.

“I know  _exactly_  the thing.” Billy dives for his mp3 player.

A moment later, familiar piano music wafts through the car, and David lets out a strangled squeak of laughter.

Teddy’s hair shifts suddenly black, and he seizes Billy’s hands. “I can show you the wo~orld…”

Billy starts to sparkle a little bit, his hair floating in a personal wind as his part begins. ”A whole new wo~orld…”

Tommy groans and slides down in his seat. “Kate. Kate, I hate you.”


	42. Scott Summers and Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> materassassino asked: Aaaaaaaaaaaand Scogan "Where the fuck did that clown come from?"

“Logan.”

Logan doesn’t answer for a moment.

“Logan, you’re extremely heavy and in a moment I’m going to drop you and your weight will probably break at least one of my toes.” Scott gazes stoically ahead, although his knees are trembling with the weight of Logan his arms. “I’m really not in the mood to break a toe today, it’s never fun and it’ll cut into my fearless leader time.”

Grumbling, Logan drops to the ground. “Your sense of humor is agonizing, Slim.”

“Your weight is worse. Have you been carbo-loading? You’re even heavier than usual.”

“Where the fuck did that clown come from, anyway?” Logan sits down with a thump that makes his bar stool creak. “And what was it doing in my fuckin’ bar?”

“Probably trying to have a drink, same as us.” Scott’s mouth twitches up as he sits back down next to Logan, leaning a bit against the other man’s shoulder. “Must be a hard life, being a clown.”

“Yeah. Well. Takes one to know one. Ass-clown.”

“Stop trying to use the hip slang, Logan. We’re both terminally uncool and you know it.” A little bit more mouth-twitching. “Anyway, I thought you liked my ass.”

“Don’t see where that has  _anything_  to do with it.”


	43. Thomas Blake, Floyd Lawton, and Jeannette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pyrohydriscence asked: *deep breath* "Where the fuck did that clown come from?" for Bad Moon Rising, "Can I tell you a secret?" for Cass/Steph (we need a name for them!) and Billy/Teddy for "If there’s one thing the world needs more of…". THAT IS ME BEING RESTRAINED. If I could think of a good pairing for the singalong one I'd throw that in but all I can think is that it should be Loki and .... someone.

Jeannette has her hand clapped over her mouth. Floyd is looking unnerved.

Thomas wipes off his claws and puts them away with the a scowl. “Where the fuck did  _that_  clown come from? I thought we were dealing with professionals, not coked-up hoods with hair triggers.”

“Target must have brought in some backup.” Scandal looks at the corpse on the ground, her eyebrows rising slowly. “Are you  _feeling_  all right, Thomas?”

“Why do you ask?”

“That was a little…gorier…than usual.”

He shrugs. “He startled me.”

“And  _you’re_  the one talking about hair triggers? Jeannette, are you going to be ok? Did you bite your lip?”

Jeannette uncovers her mouth and wraps her arms around Thomas’ waist with a little purring noise. “It was a  _very_  nice kill.”

Floyd looks even more unnerved. And also somewhat pleased. “I don’t know  _what_  the hell I did to deserve you two, but whatever it was, I wanna know if I can do it again and get more presents.”

Bane sighs. “Children. Now is not the time.”


	44. Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ducttapefae’s second request

The Cave is surprisingly warm in winter. Bruce  _discourages_  the others from congregating there, but he doesn’t actually forbid it, and secretly they all know that he likes the company. It would be absurd to insist that he  _admit_  it.

Stephanie is doing pull-ups. Cass is hanging by her knees from another bar nearby, doing slow sit-ups with a thoughtful look on her face. Damian is across the Cave, serious-faced, doing a staff drill with Dick; Tim and Babs and Bruce are at the computer, running through  _some_  kind of programming thing.

Cass curls upward one more time, uncurls, and looks across at Stephanie. “Steph.”

Stephanie blinks. “Yes?”

“Can I…tell you a secret?”

“Um. Sure.” Stephanie drops down from the pull-up bar and goes to sit on a pile of mats, while Cass falls from her bar into a graceful roll and sits on the mat next to her. “What is it?”

“I think we. Um.” Cass pauses, scowls, shakes out her hands, and signs,  _I meant can **we**  tell a secret. I think we should tell_  _them._

Stephanie smiles and tugs her gloves off.  _I think they probably already know. It is_   ** _our_** _family, after all._ **  
**

_I know. But I’d like to tell them myself. Then it will be true._

Stephanie grins, leans in to kiss Cass on the cheek, misjudges, sticks her nose in Cass’ ear, and starts to giggle. “Sure. When do you want to tell them?”

Cass frowns thoughtfully for a moment, gazing off into the middle distance, and then says, “Now,” and kisses Stephanie solidly on the mouth.

Stephanie squeaks.

Dick is the first one who starts applauding, but soon everyone else is doing it too. Bruce even  _smiles._


	45. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ducttapefae’s third and final prompt ^_^

“If there’s one thing the world needs more of,” says Billy, as he straightens a framed print and sticks it to the wall with magic, “it’s movies about wizards.”

“O- _ho._ ” Teddy’s on a step-stool, putting up curtains over the living room window. “You’re just saying that because you want someone to make a movie about  _you._ ”

“ _Noooooo._  I’d be a terrible movie character. I just want more wizards in movies.”

“As the representative from alien places I would like to respectfully disagree and counter with more movies about aliens.”

“Hmm. As the representative from Earth I find this proposal interesting, and would like to offer a compromise:  _alien wizards._  Oh, shit, what–” and Billy tips backwards as Teddy grabs him around the waist and pulls him off the couch and into an absurd princess carry. He blinks. “I take it that the representative from alien places approves of this compromise?”

Teddy looks down at him and says, thoughtfully, “I’ll need to discuss it with my superiors,” and then kisses him on the nose.

Billy grins. “Acceptable. Move to adjourn the meeting, order pizza, and spend the rest of the afternoon in bed catching up on  _Gotham._ ”

“Counter-offer. Chinese food and  _Brooklyn Nine-Nine._ ”

They end up getting burgers and making fun of  _Arrow,_  which was an acceptable compromise.


	46. Tommy Shepherd and David Alleyne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bisexualhappyquinn asked: How about tommydavid "its never too late" ?? Thank you i love when you do these :)

“I screwed up, didn’t I,” says David, staring at the ceiling. “I screwed up  _bad._ ”

“With what?” Tommy has a set of colored sharpies and is drawing something on one of the walls of their apartment, his hand a blur. “You mean with getting in my brother’s boyfriend’s personal space?”

“Yeah. That. I’m never gonna come back from that. I fucked up and I’m a terrible person.”

“Well, it does make you kind of an asshole, they’re not going to invite you over for  _dinner_  anytime soon, but it doesn’t mean you’re, like,  _unequivocally_  a bad person. You’ve also done a lot of good things. Saved  _my_  ass, for one.” A drawing of Noh-Varr’s spaceship is forming under Tommy’s hand, adrift in a galactic ocean. “Which I appreciate, thank you, that’s the kind of thing I generally look for in a boyfriend.”

“You’re. Uh. You’re welc–boyfriend?” David blinks. “…wait. Tommy, how long have you been hitting on me?”

“Since about five minutes after we met, why do you ask?” Tommy doesn’t look up from his drawing.

“…and it took me  _this long to notice?_  It’s been almost a  _year._ ”

“Hell.” Tommy shrugs, grins, and draws in the two of them side-by-side on an asteroid, facing off against some kind of tentacular horror. “It’s never too late to get a clue.”


	47. Merlin Baker and Bart Allen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked: Could you do a "Please stay." Merlin/Bart fic; and a "Everything’s going to be fine." Billy & Zatanna Fic (p.s. Your new theme is awesome)

The teams aren’t hanging out in “headquarters” today. There’s some kind of heating problem, and  _then_ , somehow connected to that heating problem, the little guest house got infested with bugs, so for the moment everyone’s piled into the library at the Bakers’ house while headquarters gets fumigated and the heating is repaired.

Most of the day is spent making notes for an upcoming charity event—Captain America’s convinced Kate and her team to help out at a fundraiser fair for a community center where he does volunteer work, and some of the Titans are coming along as well. So they need to coordinate some travel arrangements, work out who’s doing what and working where. They cover the library floor with papers.

Eventually, though, it starts getting dark, and the teams go their separate ways for the evening, until the only people left are Merlin (since, of course, he lives there) and Bart, who are sitting on opposite ends of the couch, sketching out plans for a dunk-a-hero booth.

Carol leans into the room finally and says, “Merlin, it’s time for dinner.”

Both boys look up, startled, and Bart mutters, awkwardly, “I should go home.”

“Nah, honey, stay if you like. There’s plenty of lasagna for everyone.” She grins. “Even teenagers who need speedster portions.”

“No, I, I don’t want to impose—”

“Don’t worry about it.” Merlin starts rolling up their plans. “Stay for dinner. I don’t think you’ve ever gotten to have Mom’s lasagna, it’s amazing.”

Bart blushes. “O-ok. If that’s…all right.”

“Of course it’s all right, you dork.  _Please_  stay.” Merlin grins at him. “Otherwise I’ll just overeat.”


	48. Billy Kaplan and Zatanna Zatara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world’s second request, for Billy Kaplan and Zatanna ^_^

Zatanna brushes a bit of powder off of the shoulder of Billy’s tuxedo and taps his nose with one finger. “Curtain’s in twenty minutes, Billy-boy. Why the long face?”

He sighs.

“That’s not an answer, Billy.”

“…do you ever feel like you don’t deserve it?”

She peers at him, frowns, and then sits down in a nearby folding chair, pulling him over to sit down on the other chair next to her. “Deserve what?”

He wiggles his fingers vaguely. “The magic.”

“Sure, kiddo–” he flinches, “–I’m sorry, Billy. Sure I do.”

“What do  _you_  do to deal with it?”

“Hm.” She pauses for a moment. “Well, first, what I try to keep in mind is,  _nobody_ deserves power like what we’ve got. It’s not a question of  _deserving_  it. It’s not a gift or a curse. It’s just a thing that happened to us. In your case, and mine, we were even  _born_  with our powers, there’s nothing we  _could_  have done to deserve it.”

Billy’s brow wrinkles. “I…guess that’s true.”

“Now, the second thing.” The corner of Zatanna’s mouth twitches up. “Given how our worlds seem to work, if  _we_  didn’t have this power, then someone  _else_ would have it. I’m not going to ask you if you’d trust anyone else with what you’ve got, because I’m sure you would.  _But_.  _You_  are the only person who knows what  _you_  want to do with your power. Just like I’m the only person who knows everything  _I_  want." She wraps an arm around his shoulders. "So maybe none of us deserve it. But the fact that you’re thinking about that, that you look at your own motives and worry about the actions you might take–that says to  _me_ that you’re a good person to have phenomenal cosmic power. Because you’re not going to do something with it without  _thinking_  about it first.”

Billy doesn’t look reassured, really, but he does look thoughtful. “I guess I hadn’t considered that.”

“Well, that’s all I can ask of you, is that you consider it.” She kisses him on the temple. “You’re a good kid, Billy Kaplan. And there are way worse people who could have the magic you have. I’ll take you to meet my ex sometime, actually, he’s a good example.” And she glances at the clock. “Ten more minutes to curtain.”

“Shit. I should fix my hair.”

“Sit tight, Billy-boy. Everything’s going to be fine.” Her eyes twinkle. “I’ll do it with magic.”


	49. Tim Drake, Bart Allen, and Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Tim/Kon/Bart (Hey, have you seen the…? Oh) and Nohmmy (Are you flirting with me?) please

Kon leans out of the kitchen with a bag of tortilla chips in one hand, frowning. “Hey, have you guys seen the–oh. Uh. I can come back.”

Tim and Bart spring apart, and Tim says, “It’s not what it looks like.”

“So you’re…not making out?”

Bart’s got one eye squeezed shut, and he looks miserable. “I got a bug in my eye when I was running.”

Kon hisses sympathetically. “Did your goggles crack?”

“I wasn’t wearing my goggles, I was just going to the store.”

“I was trying to get the bug out for him,” says Tim, holding up a handkerchief, “but he keeps moving around too much.”

“I can't  _help_  it!”

Kon stares at them for a moment and then puts down his bag of chips and walks over to the couch. “Well, I  _was_  gonna ask you guys where the olives were so I could make nachos, but that can wait a minute.” He picks Bart up bodily, sits down in the spot he just freed up, and then puts Bart back down in his lap.

Bart squeaks, turning bright red. “What’s happening now?”

“I’ll hold him still. Tim, you get the bug.”

Tim looks them over and nods. “You know, I hadn’t considered that, that’s a very good idea.”

Bart squirms in Kon’s lap. “I better get some of those nachos afterward.”

“I’ll make an extra bag.”


	50. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon also asked for Nohmmy

Someone suggested going out dancing, but nobody can remember who. That might be because they’re all a few beers in, or because the club is crowded, or because the beat is thumping so hard that Billy got chest pains and had to sit down for a while.

Kate's  _not_  surrounded by boys, but only because America scared them away, and she looks pretty pleased about that, dancing with her eyes closed in a little bubble of purple light. Billy and Teddy are up again, and David’s dancing with them, their differences momentarily put aside.

Noh-Varr, who can’t really get drunk on anything they serve here, is for the moment not dancing. Neither is Tommy, who’s sitting next to him at the bar and apparently on his third or fourth shot of fireball. The speedster turns to him suddenly, though, and says, “You should dance with me. We should dance.”

Noh-Varr blinks. “If you want. I thought you didn’t like me.” Truth be told, he doesn't  _know_  what Tommy thinks of him; they haven’t gotten to talk much.

“Nah, I like you. I like you fine. And I like dancing. Dance with me.”

Vaguely puzzled, Noh-Varr lets Tommy drag him out onto the dance floor.

Whatever dance Tommy’s doing, it’s very heavy on… _touching._  Noh isn’t sure  _what_  kind of signals he’s getting, but he  _is_  sure that he’s having a physical reaction. When he feels that he’s getting too confused, he hauls Tommy off the dance floor again and shouts over the music, “Look, are you flirting with me?”

“Am I what?” Tommy shouts back, grinning.

“Are you flirting with me?”

“What? No.  _Nooooo._  Of course not, why would I be yes.” Suddenly Tommy is nodding very seriously. “Yes, I am totally flirting with you. Can we get back to dancing? I love this song.”

“Just so we’re clear!”

“Yeah, sure! Yes! Flirting! With you! Let’s go dance!”


	51. Jason Todd and Dick Grayson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: "Hey, have you seen the…? Oh.” for jaydick? :D

Jason climbs through the window and brushes the snow off his shoulders. “Hey, Big Bird, have you seen the…oh.” And he stares.

Dick…hasn’t noticed him. He’s got a pair of earbuds in, an mp3 player clipped to the waistband of his pants, and he’s hanging upside down from a bar in the middle of the living room. There’s a serene expression on his face, eyes closed, smiling as he does sit-ups.

“Oh, this is  _good._ ”

Dick’s not wearing a shirt–of  _course_  he’s not, it’d be  _wildly_  inconvenient right now. Slowly, softly, Jason moves around and creeps up behind him. He has to duck behind the couch for a moment to strip off his gloves and stuff them into his jacket pocket, but he emerges just as Dick’s uncurling and in worst position to spot him from.

The thing is, Dick has these ticklish spots on his sides, right about where the floating ribs are. And Jason knows  _exactly_  how to find them.

Dick lets out an undignified shriek and almost falls off his exercise bar when Jason starts tickling him. He rips the earbuds out of his ears. “Holy  _shit,_  when did you–ahaha–shit,  _stop,_  when did you even  _get_  oh my god Jay I’m gonna  _fall_ ehehehe  _stop it!_ ”

Jason does stop…after a few minutes.

Once Dick has his breath back, he drops from the exercise bar onto his hands and rolls up gracefully onto his feet. “When did you even  _get_  here?  _How_  did you get here?”

“Came in through the window. You really shouldn’t exercise with your back to an entryway like that, Dickie-bird.”

“It’s a  _window_ , it’s not a– _why_  are you here?”

Jason grins obnoxiously. “Wanted to see if you had Bruce’s copy of  _Buckaroo Banzai,_  Alfred said he thought you’d borrow it.”

“You climbed through my window to ask me  _that?_  Couldn’t you have  _texted_  me?” Dick grabs his shirt off the back of the couch and pulls it on, clearly to hide the fact that he’s grinning.

“Well, yeah, I  _could’ve._  But honestly it wouldn’t have been  _nearly_  as much fun.”


	52. Tim Drake (as Catlad) and Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do a Wait right there, don’t move! Fic with Catlad!Tim/Kon?

Kon spots the thief right before he climbs out the window and shouts, “Stop right there! Don’t move!”

The thief freezes on the windowsill, eyes flickering towards the logo on his chest. “Suuuure I will, Super…boy. Since you could probably catch me anyway.”

Kon frowns. Now that the thief is staying still, he can see…skintight black leather, cat ears, and a whip? “Thanks so much, Cat…lad.”

“Lad? Nobody uses ‘lad’ anymore except British people.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure a catboy is some kind of anime porno thing, lad seemed safer.”

“I can appreciate that.” “Catlad” wriggles back against Kon with a bit  _too_  much familiarity as Kon reaches over to take the little pouch of diamonds away from him. “Any chance I could hang onto one or two of those? Guy’s gotta eat.”

“I hear the food at Blackgate’s pretty good, actually, they just got a new catering contract.”

Catlad’s nose wrinkles. “I don’t really like…communal dining. Too much competition.” He arches against Kon’s side, grinning. “Can’t you let it slide? Just this once?”

Kon shifts away nervously. “Uh…wait,  _no!_   _You_  are a  _criminal!_ ”

“That’s kind of a shame.”

Then Catlad  _kisses_  him.

On the  _nose._

Kon reels backward, startled.

“Later, cutie.” Catlad disappears out the window.

“Wait, where are you–oh  _fuck._ ” Kon scowls. “He’s almost as good at that as  _Batm_ –wait.” And he feels around in his pocket. “And he took the fucking  _diamonds._ ”


	53. Daken and Johnny Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gealachinamistyworld asked: If you're still doing the meme, Daken/Johnny Storm, "Could you repeat that?" , please? :3

Johnny elbows Daken gently in the ribs. “Hey, cutie.”

Daken’s response is incomprehensible—not only garbled with sleep and the fact that he’s face-down in his pillow, but also in slurry Japanese instead of English. Then he rolls away.

Johnny grins. “What was that? Could you repeat that?”

“Cute is an inappropriate term for me.” Daken doesn’t open his eyes.

“You’re  _acting_  cute. Which, granted, I’ve never seen you do before. But it is  _amazing_  right now, let me tell you. You look like a sleepy kitten. How much  _did_ you drink last night?”

"When I was young my father told me that sake was a noble drink.”

“I’m guessing you think he was wrong.”

“He was wrong about many things.” Daken shifts, and the light hits his eyes, and he bites out a soft, “ _Kuso._ ”

Johnny runs his fingers through Daken’s hair. “You want some water?”

"Go away, Johnny.”

“I’ll go get you some water.”


	54. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do a "You forgot to say the magic word." Nohmmy fic (cuz there's not nearly enough around at the moment), and a Tim/Kon "Don’t make it into a big deal.”

Noh-Varr is folded up on the couch with a tablet in his lap, focused on a circuit diagram on which he’s drawing with feverish intensity. He’s paying so much attention to his work that for a few moments when he reaches for his mp3 player and earbuds his hand simple dangles in the empty air, the information that what he wanted is missing not quite reaching his brain.

Finally it filters through, though, and he frowns and looks up and says, “Tommy, where’s my music?”

No answer.

He looks around. “Tommy, did you take my mp3 player?”

There’s a pause, and then Tommy does a knee slide into the room, his arms wrapped around the Swiffer like a guitar and Noh-Varr’s earbuds in his ears, his face contorted in a silent heavy-metal scream.

Scowling, Noh-Varr dives for his mp3 player, which is sticking out of Tommy’s pocket, but Tommy rolls away.

“Tommy, give it  _back._ ”

Tommy hops up onto the coffee table, grinning. “You forgot to say the magic word.”

Noh-Varr stares. “This is a human colloquialism I’m not familiar with.”

Tommy rolls his eyes. “Say please.”

Noh-Varr sighs. “ _Please_  give me back my mp3 player.”

“Yeah, sure.” Tommy jumps from the coffee table to the couch, which creaks worryingly, and hands the mp3 player and earbuds to Noh. “So. Whatcha working on?”


	55. Tim Drake and Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon also asked for a TimKon

Kon hides his face in his hands. “It’s not a big deal. Don’t make it into a big deal.”

“But I already  _bought_  the cake,” Tim is grinning. “I wasn’t sure what to put on it, so I asked the people at the bakery what a guy your age might like, and they gave me some tips.”

Kon groans, “Oh god.”

“Don’t worry, it’s a good cake.” Tim cups his hands around his mouth. “Hey, guys, you can bring it in now!”

There’s what sounds like a drumroll, and then the rest of the Titans burst into the room, Cassie at the head of the group carrying a massive cake. There’s a big blue candle shaped like a seven, and seven little candles in front of it.

There are also Legos on it, and a sheet image of a grinning yellow Lego man declaring, “YOU’RE AWESOME, BIRTHDAY BOY.”

It’s a  _Lego Movie_  cake.

Delighted, the team bursts into song. “Happy cloneday to yo~ou…”

Kon waits until they’re finished, a pained expression on his face, and then carefully blows out the candles. Everybody claps. He sighs. “Tim, I’m going to kill you.”

“Don’t say  _that_  until you’ve tried the cake.” Tim accepts a knife from Bart and offers it to Kon handle-first. “Care to cut, birthday clone?”

The first bite is so good that it nearly blows the top of Kon’s head off.

“I forgive you,” he mutters, finally, when he’s in the middle of his third slice.

“I thought you would,” Tim says, a contented smile on his face. “Besides, I expect you to do something equally awful to me.”


	56. Young Titans and Team Sakura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked: Plus an extra prompt. Young Titans meet Team Sakura "That’s a good look for you."

There’s a twelve-year-old girl wearing a sparkly dress and carrying a magic wand talking to Kate about decks of cards, and everything’s gotten really confusing.

Gar is having a conversation with what appears to be a stuffed animal, and Tim is arguing in Chinese with a young boy with an intense look on his face, and America thinks she’d like a day off. She just joined up with this wacky fucking junior league  _two weeks ago,_  and she’s already traveled backward  _and_  forward in time, run the team across five dimensions hunting for a “powerful artifact” that turned out to be Dr. Strange’s damn  _car keys,_  met a kid who knows  _way_  more about her than she’s comfortable with, found out that the Demiurge likes chocolate ice cream and fried rice (although not together, at least), and met someone called  _Wonder Woman_  who looks like one of her  _moms._

 _That_  was weird.

And now she’s pinching the bridge of her nose and there's  _another_  little girl standing in front of her and saying, unexpectedly, “That’s a good look for you.”

America blinks and looks down at her own clothes. “Yeah, kid? You think so?”

The girl nods, beaming at her. “You’ve got a great sense of style. The cut of that shirt really suits you, and the high-waisted shorts work really well with the shape of your hips. But you have a hole in your jacket.”

Before America can even  _look_  at where she’s indicating, the girl’s pulled a sewing kit out of her pocket and mended the rip. America stares at her. “Are you a tiny fashion designer?”

“I’m Tomoyo. I make all of Sakura’s outfits.” Tomoyo glances over at the girl talking to Kate and blushes rosily. “Doesn’t she look pretty?”

“It’s really good work, I’m impressed.” America glances at her sidelong. “She know you like her?”

Tomoyo blushes harder. “O-of course. We’re best friends.”

America pauses, and then crouches so that she and Tomoyo are on eye level. “Gonna tell you this from one woman to another, princess. If you don’t tell her while you’ve got the opportunity, you’ll regret it later.”

Tomoyo blinks. “You think so?”

“I know so.” America holds up her hand, and Tomoyo bumps fists with her nervously. “I’ve got your back, princess.”


	57. Laura Kinney and Sooraya Qadir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Laura Kinney/Sooraya Qadir + "Can we just pretend I didn't say that?". aND (only if you want to) Laura Kinney/Zachary Zatara + "Hey, have you seen the…? Oh.”

Sooraya leans in to the mirror and brushes on mascara with a delicate hand, one eye wide and the other squinting over the line of her niqab.

Laura is seated cross-legged on the bed behind her, staring at her own feet. “Why wear makeup at all? Nobody can see your face.”

“I wear it for myself. I like knowing that I’m beautiful.” Sooraya brushes a speck of mascara off her cheek and starts on her other eye. “And in any case, eventually I’ll have someone else to show it to. When the time is right.”

Laura keeps staring at her feet as she says, “I wish I had something that I believed in so strongly.” And then, immediately afterward, “Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?”

She feels something touch her head, and looks up startled to see Sooraya’s eyes smile-crinkled as she brushes a strand of hair out of Laura’s face. “When you don’t have anything else to believe in, there’s always yourself.”

Laura lets out a not-quite-sigh. “I am not always good at that.”

“Then I can do it for you for a while.” Sooraya sits down beside her and leans against her shoulder for a moment, comfortingly. “I’m very good at it.”


	58. Laura Kinney and Zachary Zatara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon from the other day also asked for Laura Kinney/Zachary Zatara

Laura comes to the door with a distracted look on her face, cracking her neck as she turns the knob. She smells who’s there before she sees him. “Hello, Zachary. Have you see the–” and she looks at him and blinks. “Oh.”

Zachary smiles nervously at her and holds out a bouquet of white roses, stems wrapped in black-and-white striped paper. “Ms. Kinney. Did I…is this a bad time?”

She takes the bouquet, still blinking. “I was looking for the duct tape.” Moves back so he can come inside, and is somewhat relieved that he closes the door behind him and she doesn’t have to. “You have…brought me flowers? Why?”

“I’d.” He blushes. “I’d like to get to know you better, Ms. Kinney. I was hoping you would do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner, and a movie afterward.” A pause. “…you don’t like them, do you. I’m sorry, I’ll–”

“No, the flowers are very nice. No one has ever brought me flowers” She takes a deep sniff, smiling for a brief moment. “It’s just that I do not like–”

He sighs. “Me.”

“Boys.”

“Oh.” Zachary blinks. “Not at all?”

“Not at all. I am sorry, Zachary. You may have your flowers back if you like.”

“Is that  _all?_ ” He actually looks…pleased.

She frowns. “I think it’s very important, actually.”

“Of course it is! But…” he scratches the back of his head. “Romance or no, I  _would_  still very much like to know you better. Do you like Korean barbecue? And have you ever seen  _The Prestige_?”

“I’ve…never had Korean barbecue.” Laura stares down into the bouquet of roses for a moment before looking back up at him. “I will go get my coat.”


	59. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> useless-unovafacts asked: Billy/teddy "I need this"

Teddy is initially dubious when Billy says he’s leaving for Mount Wundagore and he’s going to be gone for a week.

“Are you  _sure,_  babe? By yourself?” he says, frowning. “That doesn’t seem like…like a safe thing to do.”

"Mom’s going with me, I’ll be fine.”

“Why would she be…oh. Oh, you mean your  _other_  mom.”

Billy snorts. “You make it sound like she’s going to eat my soul and sew buttons in my eyes. Yes, my other mom. Wanda. She wants to show me where she grew up. Tommy’s coming too, but…actually, he might already be there, you know how much he loves playing ‘top that.’”

Teddy frowns. “Well, if you’re sure it’s safe…”

"I’ll be fine.” Billy hugs him, and for a moment it’s all very solemn and he says into Teddy’s chest, “I need this. I’ll be home soon.”

Teddy kisses him on the forehead and says, “I love you,” and Billy says, “I love you too,” and then dissolves in a shower of warm blue sparks.

—

A week later he reappears in the living room—on top of the coffee table, actually—and the first thing Teddy notices is the bruise on his forehead. “Oh my god, babe, what happened?”

Billy climbs down from the coffee table, brushes himself off, and grins. “I took a Frisbee to the face.”

“A Frisbee wouldn’t leave that kind of bruise, Bee.”

“Well, I. Uh. May have lost my balance and fallen down a hill. It kind of took me by surprise. Wanda’s got a mean backhand toss.”

Teddy stares at him—and other than the huge bruise he looks great, he’s got a tan and a little bit of a sunburn on his nose and there’s a heavily-embroidered red scarf around his neck that Teddy doesn’t remember him owning.

“Wanda made you this.” Billy digs around in his backpack and pulls out another red scarf, this one with an eight-pointed golden star stitched onto one end. “She says she’d like it if we could all have dinner together sometime.”

The scarf is soft and Billy looks…happy.

Teddy grins. “Sure. That sounds great.”


	60. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Nohmmy, "Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?

“The play area is very loud.”

“That’s why it’s in its own section of the store, babe. So we don’t murder them all.” Tommy blurs through one order of fries, then chugs half of his soda. “Kids are basically only tolerable in really small groups or far away. I mean, I like kids. I like kids a lot. I’m  _good_  with kids. But they drive me nuts when I’m trying to get some peace and quiet.”

“I find human children endearing.” Noh-Varr drains the rest of his soda, peels the plastic lid off his cup, and then takes a bite out of the cup rim. “I never was a child, it’s sort of novel.”

“I could show you pictures, I guess. Aunt Alice sent me Mom’s photo albums after the funeral, she said she couldn’t deal with them.”

Noh-Varr’s eyes light up.

“Or…oh god. Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?”

“Why? I want to see pictures of you.”

“But there are. There are pictures of me in the fourth-grade Thanksgiving pageant.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“ _Ohthankgodyoudon'tknowhowembarrassingitisthen_  we’ll look at them when we get home.” Tommy stares contemplatively at his second order of french fries. “If you insist.”


	61. Nico di Angelo and Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: If it's not too late, could you do a multiverse fic featuring Nico di Angelo and Death of the Endless (Can I tell you a secret?)

She sits down next to him on the boulder and says, “Hi, Nico.”

Nico looks up, surprised, his hand going to the sword at his hip, but when he sees who it is he relaxes. “Hello, Death.”

“You looked lonely. I thought I’d say hi.” She bumps her shoulder against his and then smiles up into the dappled leaves of the forest canopy. “We haven’t spoken in a while.”

“I didn’t realize we'd  _ever_  spoken.”

“Of course we have. You know me, don’t you?” She has a laughing smile, but it’s not cruel laughter. “You just don’t remember speaking to me. That’s normal.”

“Oh.” He thinks about it. “That makes sense.”

“So do you want to talk?”

“Don’t you already know everything I’d want to talk about?”

“I know a lot of things. But I like to talk.”

Nico nods and thinks for a moment, and then he tells her about the two camps, and his sisters, and the adventures he’s had, and what he does by himself. Which is most things. He does most things by himself.

And then he thinks about being by himself, and he pauses and says, hesitantly, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course you can.” She reaches over and fixes the collar of his shirt.

“I don’t…I don’t want the things that…that I’m supposed to want. That  _people_ want. Like…sex. I don’t want to have sex, ever.” He stares down at his feet. “I didn’t want to tell anyone. I’m already strange enough. I see guys, and I  _like_ guys, I like how they look, and I can tell people that. But everyone thinks that means I want to have  _sex_  with guys. And I don’t. Not with anyone.” He bites his lip. “Does that make sense? Am I weird? Is it because my father is Hades? Is it a  _death_  thing?”

She doesn’t laugh at him. She just smiles. “It's  _definitely_  not a death thing. I’ve had sex once or twice myself. Not  _frequently,_  but a few times.”

“Did you…like it?”

“Not really my thing.”

“But does it mean  _I’m_  weird?”

“Of course not. Sex isn’t nearly the universal constant that people seem to think it is. And plenty of humans feel that way.”

Nico imagines he can feel a white streak growing in his hair like it did in Percy’s and Annabeth’s, a souvenir of a great weight being lifted off his shoulders. “Really?

"Nothing wrong with you.” She bumps his shoulder with hers again. “I gotta go, Nico. I have work to do.”

“…now? But. Can I talk to you again?”

She grins at him. Her nose wrinkles. “You’ll see me again. Don’t worry.”

As she vanishes, he says, “That's  _not comforting._ ”


	62. Emma Frost and Kamala Khan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do a Kamala meets Emma Frost "Everything’s going to be fine." fic, and a Nohmmy 7 mins in heaven "Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?" Fic?

Kamala is being attacked by a swarm of bee-sized Sentinels.

She repeats it to herself, just to be sure: “I am being attacked by a swarm of tiny Sentinels.”

Then she lets out a piercing shriek, expands her hands massively, and starts batting them out of the air. “Go  _away!_  You’re horrible! You shouldn’t even work, Sentinel technology is supposed to be  _really big!_ ” She stomps on tiny Sentinels with feet that she’s made huge, crushes others between her fingers, and probably in general looks like she’s having a bad allergic reaction or something.

And then the  _huge_  shadow falls over her and she looks up at the  _enormous_ Sentinel–which is  _made_  of a huge swarm of bee-sized Sentinels–and says, "Uh-oh.“

And a beam of red light shoots past her and she turns around and claps her hands over her mouth and says, "Ohhhhh the X-Men showed up. This is so exciting.”

“Stay calm,” says Emma Frost–Emma Frost!–as she begins to glitter like a diamond. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“You’re Emma Frost!” Kamala actually makes a little squeaking noise. “I’m a huge fan!”

“I like her,” Emma says over her shoulder to Ilyana. “She’s very clever.”


	63. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonamouse also asked for Nohmmy

Tommy leans back against the wall of the closet, looks up at Noh-Varr, and says, “So this is fun. This is a good time.”

Noh-Varr leans back against the opposite wall. There’s so little space that their knees are still touching. “Yes, because sarcasm is going to persuade them to unlock the door.”

“He said, sarcastically.”

“Yes, well, I’m trying to distract myself from the thought of you naked.”

Tommy turns bright red. “What?”

Noh-Varr blinks rapidly. “That was inappropriate. Can we pretend that I didn’t just say that?”

“Can we– _no._  How long have you been thinking about me naked?”

“Approximately two minutes. Or did you mean in general? I can’t give you an  _exact_  time frame, but it’s been sort of a while.” Noh-Varr raises an eyebrow. “Are you saying you’re interested? Or should I keep it to myself?”

“I’m not  _opposed_  to the idea of getting naked in front of you.” Tommy looks him up and down thoughtfully. “Or the idea of you getting naked in front of me, actually. Granted, you’re always walking around half-naked, so I’ve got kind of an unfair advantage. Aren’t we supposed to be kissing in here anyway?” _  
_

“They tell me that’s the game.”

“So take off your shirt, then, and I’ll take off mine, and we’ll see where things go from there.”


	64. Kamala Khan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do a "Everything’s going to be fine." Kamala Khan fic where she accidentally falls into Gotham, meeting some of the Batfamily as she explores

“This is messed up.”

Another pigeon rages by, its eyes intent on the man in black and blue.

“This is  _messed up!_ ” Kamala grows several feet taller out of sheer anger and alarm. “Who  _does_  this to  _pigeons?_  Pigeons are  _nice birds!_ ”

Someone taps her shoulder. She jumps and looks up. A crossbow-wielding woman in purple waves at her from the roof of a building, which is…coincidentally also on eye level now. “First time in Gotham?”

“That’s what this city is called? Gotham?”

The woman in purple looks over Kamala’s outfit. “I’m…guessing you’re lost.”

“Very! And now there are evil pigeons! Who makes  _evil pigeons?_ ”

“He’s called the Penguin.”

“Why would a  _penguin_  be hanging out with  _pigeons?_ ”

“Take a deep breath.” The woman in purple smiles. “Everything’s going to be fine. In fact, if you’re up for it, Nightwing could probably use more than one helping hand.”


	65. Emma Frost and Scott Summers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Kitty/Poitr or Emma/Scott having to babysit young Merlin (any dialogue will do)
> 
> This is about two years after the end of The God Invasion, so Kitty is about…Sixteen? Seventeen?

Emma picks up the toddler and stares at him like he’s distasteful. “Scott,  _why_  are we babysitting for Hawkeye?”

Scott shrugs. “He wanted to take his lady friends out to dinner, and I owed him a favor.”

She shoots him a look that radiates  _are you fucking kidding me._

He cringes, just a little. “It’s only for a couple of hours, Ems. Don’t worry.”

“Scott, have you  _met_  Clint Barton? ‘A couple of hours’ for that man generally means he’s going to disappear for a week and then turn up on fire, chased by Hydra agents, and trailing a stray dog.”

The red-haired toddler in her arms wriggles cheerfully and says, “Awww, puppy!”

“Find another babysitter, Scott.”

Scott pauses, then pulls out his cell phone.

After a moment whoever he’s calling picks up and he says, “Kitty? Hi, it’s Mr. Summers. This may sound like an odd question, but have you finished your history paper? …all right, then. Two more questions. One, do you like children? And two, would you like to earn an extra free period for next week?”


	66. Thomas Blake and Daken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: “The skirt is short on purpose.” Love to see something with Catman or Daken...or both but whatever floats your boat!

Thomas stares and swallows hard and says, “We’re going to a party with rich people, isn’t that a little short?”

Daken rolls his eyes. “The skirt is short on purpose. Scandal–not your friend, of course–”

“I  _know_  you don’t mean her, I’m not  _dumb._ ”

“The point is, scandal is the best distraction. Didn’t Bane say he wanted a distraction?” Daken leans over the vanity, putting on lipstick with precise strokes of a tiny brush. “So I’m being distracting.”

“I thi–” and Thomas cuts off mid-word, turning away sharply as the skirt rides up in the back. “I think you’re going to scandalize the Metropolis uptights enough wearing  _any_  skirt.”

“Then the shorter the better.” Now he’s putting on mascara, and Thomas is grinding his teeth and twitching, because the air is thick with that  _thing_  he does. “I’ve told Floyd that the signal for me being  _very_  distracting is when I sit on your lap.”

Thomas thinks about that and has to shake himself to clear the cobwebs out of his head. “I hate you.”

“You know, I get that a lot from boyfriends.”

“I’m not your  _boyfriend._ ”

“You  _wound_  me.” He pushes the post of an earring through one earlobe, apparently only briefly bothered by the sting as it pierces his skin, and smiles at the mirror. “And you sound  _just_  like Lester. What is it with men like us and _sharpshooters?_ ”

Thomas scowls. “I’m nothing like you.”

“Maybe we should talk about that later. I think I can change your mind.”


	67. Tim Drake and Jason Todd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zethsaire asked: It almost fits too well. Jason x any of the other Robins, and “Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”

Tim swallows his last mouthful of Lucky Charms and says, calmly, “I didn’t fake my death. That would imply  _intent_  to fake my death. I just didn’t let you know that I was alive.”

Jason sputters for a moment. “That–that’s still–not telling us you’re alive  _counts as faking your death!_  You could have  _called_  someone!”

“Bruce knew.” Tim tips back in his chair, pulls the fridge open, and snags the orange juice, taking a lengthy glug straight from the bottle. “And anyway isn’t you getting mad at me about this sort of the pot calling the kettle black? Actually,” he pauses to think about it, “with you it’s almost the pot calling the kettle a pot, come to think of it.”

“That was  _different!_  I was  _actually_  dead! And Bruce doesn’t  _count,_  he knows _everything._ ”

Tim just stares at his reflection in the door of the microwave. “I am  _badly_  in need of a haircut. Infiltrating a drug cartel’s done a number on my fashion sense.”

“I’m going to kill you  _myself,_  Timmy, you hear me?”

“No, you won’t.” Tim frowns. “Do you have any breakfast sausage? I’d really like some breakfast sausage. And a shower.”

Jason buries his face in his hands. “Got the frozen stuff. Go ahead, eat the whole bag.”

“And after a shower I think I’m going to blow you, you’ve been very patient with me and I’ve missed you.”

Jason freezes, making small choking noises.

Tim peers at him. “Jason? Are you all right?”


	68. Merlin Baker and Bart Allen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked: I have two prompts if that's ok. Merlin/Bart Sprained Ankle; and Zatanna & Billy demon summoning

Bart wriggles irritably. “Down.”

“Nope.”

“Dooooown.”

“God, you’re like a  _cat._ ” Merlin shifts his grip so he can hold Bart more securely. “No, I’m not putting you down.”

“It’s just a sprained ankle!”

“Which would be convincing if you weren’t a speedster, you’re going to vibrate that sprain into some kinda fracture.”

“You’re supposed to be the one who gets rescued and carried and stuff! You’re the damsel!” Bart glares up at him. “ _I_  save  _you!_ ”

“So it’s obviously time we traded.” Merlin kisses his forehead. “I’m a hero too. I can do some saving sometimes.”


	69. Billy Kaplan and Zatanna Zatara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also for geoboy-world, a tale of Zatanna and Billy Kaplan!

“Holy shit, that’s the tenth demon summoning  _this week!_  Your magic’s got some _serious_  slant to it, Billy-boy.” Zatanna peers down at the demon, which is shrieking incomprehensibly in some unholy tongue and also smoking a bit. “Anyone ever mentioned that to you?”

“Um, not really?” Billy frowns and dismisses the tiny demon with a wave of his hand. “I mean. You know. My only other teacher was Loki, and he had more of a…course of study. Like, with textbooks and exercises. He never really did tests to see what came naturally, that’s more Simon’s thing.”

“Well, it looks like summoning might be kinda your jam. Any thoughts on why that might be?”

“…shouldn’t  _I_  be asking  _you_  that? You’re the teacher.”

She pulls him over to the couch so they can sit down and brushes his hair out of his face. “Bill, part of being a teacher is making your student think. I know why _my_  magic works the way it does; it’s in my blood. I want you to think about what might make  _your_  magic work the way it does. I know you get it mostly from your mother, but from what I know, she’s not really the summoning type. What’s different about you? What makes you special?”

Billy stares at her for a moment and then says, “I…I don’t know.”

“So that’s your assignment for tonight. Think about what makes you what you are. What’s your heritage? What matters to you? How do you think about things?”

He laughs nervously. “That’s kind of a big assignment.”

“I’m not asking you to come up with a complete answer.” Zatanna finishes fixing his hair, peers at him for a moment, and then rubs a smudge off his cheekbone with her thumb. “Just start on it. We’ll talk about it tomorrow at dinner.”

* * *

  * superheroes
  * Thor. Also Loki I guess.
  * Wanda
  * I’m gay  _(he writes, and then writes_ “Maybe?” _like not maybe he’s gay but maybe that has something to do with why his magic is the way it is)_
  * comic books
  * Teddy
  * also the rest of the team
  * Jewish–Golem of Prague!  _(triple underlined, because that was always his favorite story)_
  * twins–sort of. Soul twins?



Billy stares at the last item on his list, his futile, frustrating list of “who is Billy Kaplan,” and feels an itch in the back of his mind. There’s something that he’s forgetting. About Tommy?

No, he decides after a moment, not about Tommy. Tommy’s important, but this is something else.

About his soul?

Billy finds himself staring fixedly into space, trying to remember something about his soul that he’s not sure he ever knew the details of, and then it clicks into place.

  * where my soul is from



* * *

“So where  _is_  your soul from?”

Billy chews on his lip and says, “A demon. I’m a demon.”

Zatanna frowns. “Billy, I’m pretty sure we’d know if you were a demon. John would have flipped his shit and then I’d’ve had to beat him up.”

“Well, I mean. I’m not  _all_  demon? But Wanda  _made_  me out of a demon. The Master of Pandemonium. Because robots can’t get you pregnant. She also made Tommy out of a demon, it’s the same demon, that’s why we’re still twins even though we sort of have different parents now, it’s really complicated and weird.”

“I feel that, kid.” She nods slowly. “And you told me Wanda also summoned you back into existence.”

“Yeah.” He stares down into his food, too nervous to look up at her again. “So, I mean, if I’m made of a demon that means I’m evil, right? That’s why I keep summoning demons?”

“You–no, you dope.”

He looks up, startled. “What?”

Zatanna’s smiling at him. “Look, just because we’re having beef wellington right now doesn’t mean there’s a whole cow in the dining room.”

“I… _what?_  What does that even mean?”

“What you’re made of isn’t the only thing that informs what you are. Just because there’s part of a demon in you, it doesn’t mean  _you’re_  a demon. And it certainly doesn’t mean you’re evil.” She taps her fork on her plate. “Although it _is_  probably why you’re so good at summoning.”

“Are you sure I’m not evil?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Planning on taking over the world any time soon?”

“…ok, ok, I’m probably not evil. What do we do about the demon thing?”

“Tonight I call John and see if I can borrow some of his books. And tomorrow we start finding out what ‘the demon thing’ means to  _you._ ”


	70. Mac Gargan and Bullseye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> superkim111 asked: “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ starring.... uh.... Mac and Lester!

The fridge, Mac thinks as he stares into it, is looking a little understocked. Normally there are H.A.M.M.E.R. agents who refill it every day; how’s he supposed to get through the day and night without regular access to snacks?

Sadly, he closes the door and turns back to the table, where he only has a rack of ribs, a large bowl of potato salad, a few eclairs, and a strawberry-rhubarb pie waiting for him.

What a sad little midnight snack.

He settles down, feeling frustrated and wondering whether he might need Karla to adjust his medication, and begins to eat.

As he’s polishing off the ribs, he hears someone else wander into the kitchen. Probably Bob or Lester; Ares clumps when he walks, and Karla’s slippers have little heels on them, and Daken stinks to high heaven. Whoever it is doesn’t say hi, so he ignores them.

Until, of course, he turns around to see if he can snag the milk from whoever and it’s only the symbiote grabbing the edge of the table that keeps him from falling over. “Holy  _shit!_ ”

Lester grabs a beer and closes the fridge door. “What?”

“You’re, you are–you’re fuckin’ naked, that’s what! Ain’t that enough?”

“Yeah, obviously I’m naked, it’s fuckin’ midnight and I was going to bed.”

“Don’t you think you oughtta put some  _pants_  on before going into the kitchen?”

Lester shrugs. “Didn’t think anyone would be up.” The beer hisses as he opens it. “What’s it to you?”

“It’s–look, I’m gonna need you to put some underwear on if we’re gonna chat, talkin’ to you naked is  _creepy._ ”

“Don’t chat, then.” Lester sips the bit of foam off the top of his beer can. “Didn’t come out here for chat. Just wanted a beer. You perv on me, I’ll break your nose.”

“You  _suggesting_  something, fucker?”

“Just that maybe you shouldn’t stare at my  _dick,_  Mac.”

Moments later the other tower denizens are woken by the sound of splintering wood as the kitchen table–the fourth one this week–breaks under the weight of Mac and Lester trying to murder each other. Again.


	71. Dark Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> manicr asked: “Please stop petting the test subjects. ” Dark Avengers.

Lester snorts. “That’s not a goddamn test subject, it’s a  _cat.”_

“On  _which,_ ” Karla says with a scowl, “I am going to be running some  _tests._ ”

“The  _hell_  you are!” Making a disgusted face, Lester gathers up the tabby he’s petting into his arms, while a calico with a notched ear climbs onto his head. “Cats don’t fuckin’ deserve  _you._  I mean, fuck,  _nothing_  deserves you, but especially not goddamn cats.”

“That’s hardly your concern, give me back my test subjects–”

“Fuck, stay off! Ares, Mac, somebody, lend me a fuckin’  _hand_  here!”

As Lester is scrambling away from Karla, looking furious and holding a yowling cat in his arms, the floor creaks. And then it creaks more loudly, and Ares enters the room. He’s carrying a Call of Duty strategy guide and looking irritated. “You’re both very loud.”

“Fuckin’–Ares, whadda  _you_  think of cats?”

Ares blinks. “I am very fond of cats.” He’s already reaching out with one massive hand to let a gray cat on one of the tables sniff his fingers. “They are vicious and purposeful, and they keep their own counsel.”

“Well, Dr.  _Caligari_  here wants to run  _tests_  on these guys!”

Ares frowns. “Karla, is this true?”

Karla says, “Well.”

–

At the next morning’s team meeting, Victoria Hand’s eyes are streaming, and she blows her nose every few minutes. Nobody mentions anything at first–well, nothing  _much_ , there’s the usual mockery–but halfway through she finally says, “I’m having an allergic  _reaction!_  Is there a  _cat_  in the Tower?”

“Seven of them,” Ares says. “One of them is asleep on top of the filing cabinet in this corner.”

“Wh– _seven_  cats? Where the hell did you  _get_  seven cats?”

Karla pinches the bridge of her nose. “Lester’s apparently capable of empathy when cats are involved.”

Daken grins at Lester. “Why,  _Bullseye._  How  _charming_  of you to provide us with such company.”

“I object to poor treatment of cats.” Ares leans back in his chair and reaches out, and the cat on the filing cabinet sniffs him and then steps delicately onto his palm, walking up his arm to his shoulder. “So I confiscated Karla’s research.”


	72. Daken and Johnny Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gealachinamistyworld asked: Daken/Johnny, “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.” Please? *-*

Johnny rolls over and presses his face into Daken’s side, yawning. “I don’t know, you just seem like you’d make a good dragon.”

“Are you saying I’m menacing, darling?” Daken combs his hand through Johnny’s hair absently. “And you were the valiant knight, saving Darla Deering or some other pop princess from my evil clutches?”

“Actually  _I_  was the princess.”

Daken blinks. “I’m sorry?”

“ _Oh_  yeah.” Johnny rolls back over, but he takes Daken with him, eyes still squeezed shut in half sleep. “I was a fire-breathing princess, and I saved  _you_ from all the knights. And then we lived happily every after. In a castle by the sea.”

Daken blinks again, stuck in an awkward position draped half across Johnny’s chest, and then says, softly, “I do like the sea.”

“Yeah.” And now it’s Johnny’s turn to run  _his_  fingers through  _Daken’s_  hair, pausing once and a while to scratch gently at the back of Daken’s neck. “Me and my dragon.”

“I have too many toes for a dragon, Johnny,” Daken murmurs, finally coming back to himself, and wiggles down to nestle against Johnny more comfortably. “But maybe a castle would be nice.”


	73. Thomas Blake, Floyd Lawton, and Jeannette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pyrohydriscence asked: THIS IS REALLY HARD. BUT Badmoon Rising for "I'm sorry I got too into playing house" and Young Avengers for Space Jail.

Thomas gapes at Floyd for a moment before managing, “You’re very dedicated to this cover.”

Floyd is red-faced. “Cut that shit out.”

“ _What_  shit?  _You_  kissed  _me._ ” Thomas smacks his lips, frowning. “With tongue. You taste like cigarettes.”

“Your  _face,_  with the eyes and the lips and the–look, I’m sorry I got too into playing house or whatever and kissed you passionately, now stop with your face and hair and abs.”

“Who kissed  _who,_  now?” Jeannette edges her way past Thomas, squeezes Floyd’s rear end firmly, and pours herself a coffee.

“Your boyfriend got too into things and stuck his tongue down my throat.”

Jeannette’s eyebrows shoot up. “Did he  _really._ ”

Floyd’s shuffling feet are all the answer she needs. He mutters, “Sorry, Jeannie.”

“Well,” she says, and smiles. “ _Carry_  on, then. Don’t let  _me_  interrupt. Not, mind you, that I’m going anywhere.”


	74. Savant and Creote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ashkaztra asked: Savant/Creote - “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”Or anything Harry Potter-y with “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.” Either is good! :D

Sasha comes home with a large crate, and it’s making noises. They don’t sound mechanical, so it’s probably not a weapon. It’s a multitonal, arrhythmic, birdlike peeping, but the crate doesn’t look like something you’d transport birds in. The sound is  _familiar,_  but Brian can’t quite place it. It’s maddening.

Right on Sasha’s heels, though, is Zinda, who’s got a jangling bag from a high-end pet store and a bag of…

Brian blinks. “Kitten food?”

Sasha grins awkwardly. “I…may have accidentally adopted five cats.” He sets down the crate and opens it, and a wave of fur emerges. “Robin was quite insistent.”

“Ah only got outta takin’ one home ‘cause Ah’m allergic.” Zinda sneezes. “Speaking of which, Red, I gotta go. Nice spendin’ some time with you, though. See ya later, gorgeous.” She waves at Brian and is gone.

Baffled, Brian crouches and holds out his hand for the kittens to sniff. One of them, a small, golden-eyed ball of grey and white fluff, promptly climbs up his arm and falls asleep curled up on his shoulder below his left ear.

He blinks, looks up at Sasha, and says, “This one is named Turing. I’ve just decided.”

Sasha nods. “I’ve named the all-white one Snegoruchka. And Robin insisted that the all-grey one be called Dread-Shadow-In-The-Night, but I suspect that Muffin might be more appropriate.”

(The kitten in question responds to its naming by attempting to leap onto the couch, losing its grip, and falling onto a stack of Forbes magazines.)

“Muffin sounds right to me.”

“Excellent. I’ll be back directly, the litter pan is still in the hallway.”


	75. Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> axonsandsynapses asked: Any 2 or more individuals in the batfamily (the more of them the better): “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.” Also, any (or all) of the Young Avengers: “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”

Cass climbs in through the window and stops cold. “Stephanie.”

Stephanie looks up from where she’s sprawled on the couch, two cats asleep on her stomach. “Hey, Cass! What’s up?”

Cass stares at her for a moment and then points. “We have…cats?”

“Uh…yeah.” Stephanie grins sheepishly. “I…I may have accidentally sort of adopted some. Like. Five of them.”

“It’s Damian’s fault,” says Jason from the kitchen. “Steph and I were helping defuse a domestic, turned out the brownstone next door had someone with a cat hoarding problem and Bruce and Alfred won’t let him bring home any more animals until Bruce manages to set up some kind of automated cleanup system to deal with all the pets he’s already got.”

“So Damian just sort of…called in whoever was closest.” Stephanie grins. “I was already there, so I got some, we gave a few to that Russian guy who works for Babs, Helena has one now…Bruce only let Damian keep the ones that needed vet care.”

Still sort of puzzled, Cass sits down on the carpet next to the couch. One of the cats not currently asleep on Stephanie comes over to say hello. “Does everyone else have cats now?”

“Well, not  _everyone,_  it’s not like Damian could drag us  _all_  across town for it. Plus Zinda’s allergic and Jason doesn’t have the right kind of space, and Dick’s busy taking care of the guy whose cats they were. He’s got some dementia and he’s super lonely, so Dick’s gonna stay with him for a couple of days until Bruce can find the guy a good assisted living place.”

Jason pipes in from the kitchen again with, “Anyway, I’m making pancakes and bacon and scrambled eggs, there should be enough for you too.”

Cass tickles the nose of a calico with a missing tooth. It purrs, rubs its face on her hand for a few minutes, and then bites her very gently, as if to say,  _that’s enough now._ She smiles at it. “This is not so bad.”

The cat pats her hand with a paw.

“See?” Stephanie’s hand drifts down from the couch and rubs gently at the back of Cass’ neck. “Everything’s good. We have cats now.”

“Everything’s good for  _you,_ ” says Jason from the kitchen, “but seriously, can one of you come and get this damn cat out of the bacon?”


	76. Young Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do a Noh-Varr "I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.” with the Young Titans (or Young Avengers)

Kate says, “Noh-Varr,  _why?_ ”

“You asked me that already.” Noh-Varr’s busy assembling a cat tree out of what appear to be spare spaceship parts. “Several times, in fact.”

“Because you haven’t  _answered_  me yet!  _Why_  did you bring home five cats?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time. They needed a home, we have the space, and I like cats. They keep to themselves.”

This statement is immediately and directly contradicted by one of the cats, who hops up onto Teddy’s lap and drapes itself across his legs, cell phone, and Wii U controller. He grins down at it. “I don’t mind, I think they’re cute. Don’t you?”

“I–of  _course_  I think they’re cute, I just wish I’d had some  _warning._ ”

A suspiciously Star-Trek-like column of blue sparkles slowly coalesces in the corner of the room, from which emerges Billy’s voice. “Some warning about wha–holy crap we have so many cats! Where did the cats come from?”

“Where did  _what_  cats holy  _shit_  babe that’s a fucking awesome cat tree.” Tommy skids to a stop right in front of an affronted-looking brown tabby cat, who purrs reproachfully at him and then twines around his ankles. “Shit, I always wanted a cat.”

“I live to please you,  _hala._ ” Noh-Varr still hasn’t looked up from constructing the cat tree.

“Dude, are you even paying attention? I’ve smashed you five times now.” David hasn’t even commented on the five cats; he seems to be treating this like just another day at headquarters. Given that he used to be an X-Man, too, this probably isn’t anything weird to him.

There’s a thump on the fire escape, and then the window opens and Miss America steps through, helping Eli after her. “Hey, princess, I grabbed your–whoa.”

Eli stops on the windowsill and stares. “So nothing much has changed, I see.”


	77. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: I feel you need a potter prompt for the meme, so... Could you do "I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else." with either Harry/Draco or Harry/Ron

The curse isn’t from  _either_  one of them. They’re both winding up for one, of course; it’s the standard between-classes showdown, Harry and Draco glaring at each other in the corner of a busy courtyard. But  _across_  the courtyard there are two sixth-year Ravenclaws getting in each others’ faces, shouting at each other about a disrupted experiment, and before Draco can finish snarling,  _“Potter,”_ there’s a flash and the shrieking and thumping of people leaping out of the way–

And Hermione claps her hands over her mouth and says, “Harry, your  _clothes,_ ” while next to Draco, Pansy Parkinson lets out a shrill, scandalized titter.

Draco looks down at himself, horrified, and then says, “Potter, you can’t _possibly_  have done this.” A pause. “Can you?”

Harry grips the waistband of his boxers tightly, hoping that the safety pin holding the elastic together stays where it is, and says, “Do you  _normally_  go commando?”

Draco’s brow wrinkles. “Do I normally go  _what?_ ”

“I–look, I’m going to need you to put some underwear on before you say anything else.” Harry ducks his head. There are girls staring at him and giggling. “And I need to go find some new robes.”

“Potter, what on  _earth–_ ” Professor McGonagall cuts off mid-sentence and stares at him and Draco before saying, coolly, “ _Who_  is responsible for this situation? Malfoy, this is  _juvenile_  even for–”

Across the courtyard, one of the Ravenclaws slowly raises a hand, looking mortified. “Actually, Professor…”

McGonagall’s nostrils flare. “ _Miss_  Drinkwater.  _Kindly_  rectify this…this _situation,_  and then we will be going  _directly_  to see Professor Sinistra.”

The Ravenclaw girl lifts her wand and gives it a hangdog flick, muttering the counterspell under her breath. Harry and Draco’s clothes reappear in a flash.

Draco swallows hard, adjusts his collar, and says, “We will never speak of this again, Potter. Agreed?”

Harry nods quickly. “Agreed.”

As they part ways, Harry hears Millicent Bulstrode rumble, softly, “He’s not bad-looking, though, is he?”

And Draco going red and snapping, “Oh,  _shut_  up.”


	78. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ardatli also asked for Billy/Teddy, 5: “Are you drunk?”

Teddy flops onto the couch lengthwise and face-down, wrapping his arms around Billy’s waist. “Billy, I love you.”

“Love you too, Tee.” Billy pats his hair absently. “You know, I think I’m actually really enjoying this book. I think I’d like it  _more_  if I wasn’t reading it for a class, but I do actually  _like_  it.” His Kindle is in one hand, a bowl of ice cream and a can of soda are perched precariously on the arm of the couch, and his feet are up on the coffee table. “I wasn’t expecting to like James Joyce.”

“I like  _youuuuu._ ” Teddy nuzzles, face going up and just under the hem of Billy’s t-shirt and pressing into his side. “I like you a  _lot._ ”

Billy yelps and nearly upsets his ice cream. “I…like you too? Teddy, are you _drunk?_ ”

“Nooooo. Just. Just a little fuzzy.”

“Who were you  _drinking_  with?”

“Tommy! And Eli. And David. They were doing  _experiments._ ”

“What  _kind_  of experiments?”

“Exciting drink chemistry!” The nuzzling intensifies. “Your skin is nice. That’s a weird thing to say. But it’s nice. You’re so soft.” There’s also some nibbling.

Bemused, Billy pats Teddy’s hair again. “I’m…glad you think so.”

“Yes. I do think so. So soft. So warm. I wanna make you come so hard you faint.”

Billy makes a faint strangled noise and drops his Kindle.

Teddy, having of course promptly fallen asleep with his face still pressed to Billy’s side, snores.


	79. Pepper Potts and Simon Clark/Discord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @the-mcguffin asked for Pepper and Simon with #19: “Come home with me.” And it’s made me very happy, because despite mentioning it I’ve never really written about how they’re friends.
> 
> This takes place about three months after “An Unplanned Vacation.”

Simon Clark isn’t the youngest person Pepper’s ever found looking alone and scared at one of these Stark Foundation Arts Grant gallery parties, not by a long shot. He’s at least out of his teens, and that’s a relief, because Pepper knows from experience that there’s nothing quite like trying to help a child prodigy through an anxiety attack at a public function. He has a kind of nervous fragility that gets her attention, though–it’s something about his hair, which flops blue and mouse-brown in his eyes in a way that looks more anxious than artful. Or the bitten lip, maybe, or the slightly-too-bright laughter as he tries to make polite smalltalk with a group of businessmen at least twenty years older than him who are probably making some kind of atrocious analogy between art and the stock market.

(Some of these guys treat the gallery parties like meat markets anyway, hunting through them for rising talent so they can say that they had the famous painting in their boardroom before it was even a thing. Some of them also treat them like _other_  meat markets, looking for cute, vulnerable, broke young artists who’ll do _anything_  for three solid meals a day, but Pepper thinks she’s weeded most of _those_  creeps off the guest list.)

Anyway, he catches her eye, and since she’s hosting the party–well,  _Tony’s_ meant to be hosting it, but he got called out unexpectedly to go do Iron Man things–she decides to do some rescuing.

“ _There_  you are!” she says brightly, descending into the midst of the the gaggle of businessmen with a very professional smile. “Gentlemen, you’ll excuse me if I steal one of my artists for a moment?” (It also never hurts to remind these guys that they  _are_  her artists,  _she_  throws these parties and the Arts Grant is entirely her doing.) They mutter their awkward no-it’s-fines, and she takes the young man’s arm and steers him out of the cluster and towards the buffet table.

He wilts with relief as soon as he’s away. “Oh my god, thank you.”

She looks him over, does some quick assessing, and says, “Were they rude to you?”

“No, they were just…” The young artists chews on his lip for a moment and then settles on, “They were a lot like my dad. Um, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Mostly you just looked like you needed an out.” She snags two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and hands one to him. “I was a PA for years before I was a CEO, I know the look. Now, I know we were introduced, but I’ve met a  _lot_  of people tonight, so you’ll have to forgive me. What’s your name again?”

“Simon. Simon Clark. My paintings are over there? And you’re. Um. You’re Ms. Potts.”

Another moment of quick assessment. “Call me Pepper. Is this your first big showing?”

“It’s only my second gallery showing  _ever_  apart from the ones I did in school. My, uh, my boyfriend was going to be here with me, but there was an…an emergency and he kinda had to run.” Simon stares into his champagne with his hair in his eyes.

“Oddly enough, Mr. Stark did the same thing.” She smiles at him. “Funny how that happens.”

Simon laughs nervously. “Uh. Yeah. Funny thing.”

“I have to go do more host things, are you going to be all right?”

He sips his champagne and nods. “I’ll be fine. Thank you for the rescue, Ms. Potts.”

* * *

At the end of the party people start filtering out, in ones and twos and groups. The artists are mostly some of the last to leave, mostly going to check their pieces one last time before heading out.

Pepper has a quick chat with the caterers and clean-up crew before heading out and nearly bumps into Simon when she leaves. He’s standing on the sidewalk, looking twitchy and forlorn and staring up into the sky in the distance, where certain bright lights suggest that the Avengers are having a disagreement with Loki somewhere not too far outside the city.

She steps up next to him. “Boyfriend not back yet?”

He sighs. “No. He’s great, he’s  _perfect,_  but he’s a little unreliable. And he was my ride home.”

One final moment of calculation, looking at this anxious not-quite-kid standing alone on the sidewalk waiting for an “unreliable” boyfriend to pick him up, and then, “Come home with me.”

He turns bright red. “I  _did_  say  _boyfriend,_  right?”

She rolls her eyes. “Not like that. I bought a couple of pieces at the show tonight, and I could use an expert’s advice on where to display them. We can have some scrambled eggs and then I’ll call you a taxi.” One of the pieces is of course his, but she’s not going to mention that; let it be a surprise.

Simon watches her nervously for a moment and then relaxes and smiles again. “Ok. Thank you, Ms. Potts.”

“My friends call me Pepper.”

“Thank you, Pepper.”


	80. Barry Allen and Cisco Ramon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pyrohydriscence asked for Barry Allen/Cisco Ramon with #5: “Are you drunk?”

Many years later, after more costumes redesigns and tweaks than he can remember, more stretching of his powers than he thought possible, after seeing Thad’s dreamlike news articles come true one after one, Barry still can’t figure out the alchemy of that one particular moment. A lot of things make sense now, especially with the benefit of hindsight–but  _that_  one still hasn’t quite clicked.

So, look, scene-setting: late night in the lab. Barry. Cisco. Caitlyn. Iris. Running some test that Barry doesn’t remember now, it might’ve been the prototype of the suit-in-a-ring rig. Whatever the test, it wasn’t too serious. Iris and Cisco were sharing a few drinks, safely away from the equipment, while Caitlyn checked the last…readings. Statistics. Whatever they’d been.

Ran test. It was a resounding success. Much whooping and hollering. And Barry had been so full of steam and pep himself that he’d kissed Iris, he’d kissed _Caitlyn,_  he’d been going in for another one with Iris and what he always loses track of, trying to remember it now, is how  _exactly_  he ended up kissing Cisco instead. Because  _something_  happened, right? He doesn’t remember  _planning_  on kissing Cisco, but he  _did definitely kiss Cisco._

Iris had burst out in delighted, tipsy, laughter. “Oh my god, Barry, are you _drunk?_  Cisco, are  _you_  drunk? You’re so cute, kiss him again, this is adorable,” which Barry’s pretty sure had been directed to him, because Cisco was just standing around looking sort of delighted but also very confused.

Cisco had said, a little too loudly, “I think I’m drunk. And into guys. Both of those things. I am drunk and I’m turned on and I think this means that Barry’s a witch because guys don’t normally have this effect on me.”

And  _Caitlyn_  had said, quietly, slyly, “Then maybe you two should kiss again to see if it’s definitely him. You know, for science.”


	81. Pietro Maximoff and Remy Lebeau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beaubier asked: For the drabble/ficlet meme do u maybe wanna do pietro and Remy with number 18??
> 
> “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”

Pietro looks surprised, and for a bare second slightly hurt, and then he goes from hurt to eyes-narrowed  _pissed_  and says, “Come again?”

“ _Cher,_  I haven’t even come the  _first_ –”

“Don’t bullshit me, Remy, you know what I’m asking. What did you mean by that?”

“Jus’…” Remy shifts. “D’you ever t’ink we should…stop doin’ this?”

“Doing  _what?_ ” Pietro’s looking dangerous now, as if he might bite. “Having a relationship? I don’t think  _this_  is the time to–”

“What?  _Non,_   _cher,_  I meant d’you t’ink we should maybe stop fuckin’ on the couch in the common room so much. Someone’s bound t’ catch us sooner or later,  _non?_  Plus I don’t know about you, but I’m gettin’ an awful crick in my neck, me.”

Pietro winds up to start yelling and then stops. “I  _suppose_  you have a good point there. But we’ll have to stick to  _my_  room, I can’t abide those  _cats_  of–”

“Wait, we’re havin’ us a  _relationship?_ ” Remy grins dopily at him. “Aw,  _cher._  I didn’ know you felt that way.”

“I–I said nothing of the kind.”

“This mean you gonna start kissin’ me in public and everyt’ing?”

Pietro drags a hand down his face. “Oh god. Look, just hold on for a moment, I’m going to move us so we can have this discussion in  _private_  instead of out here where–”

At which point Lorna walks through the door and says, “Oh my god Doug owes me fifteen dollars.”

And Remy says, “See, Piet? What’d I tell you?”


	82. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minister-of-silly-walks asked: nohmmy 4 or 17
> 
> 17: “I didn’t know you could sing.”

“What?” Tommy says, looking alarmed. “What? No. I don’t sing.”

“I just heard you, though.” Noh-Varr looks a little puzzled. “While you were working on that car you never drive. You were singing. Your voice is very nice.”

Tommy’s looking to the side now, like he’s nervous. “You must’ve heard wrong. I don’t sing.”

“I’m fairly sure I didn’t. It was one of the songs from that musical Billy’s obsessed with.”

“I  _definitely_  don’t sing anything from  _The Sound of Music._ ”

Noh-Varr just…looks. And it’s a long look. A patient look. Even a  _loving_  look, but the kind of love that also has a little bit of laughter behind it.

Tommy blushes. “LookoksometimesIsingIwasinchoirwhenIwasakidbutonlybecausemymommademedoitandBilly’smademewatchthatmoviesomanytimesIkindacan’thelpitnowok?”

The only part Noh-Varr seems to focus on is, “In choir? The kind that sing in churches? Did you wear a little robe?”

“Look,  _yeah._  I was a choirboy for two seconds. Keep it under your hat, ok, Billy’d never let me hear the end of it.”


	83. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Nohmmy 1 & Tim/Kon 4 please
> 
> 1: “Can I kiss you?”

Normally Tommy is the one who panics. He’s the panicking  _type,_  if he’s gonna be brutally honest about it–super-speed means super-speed about a  _lot_  of things, and that means he’s twitchy, and that means sometimes he panics. And Noh-Varr’s  _good_  when he’s panicking, Noh-Varr stays solid and strokes his back and holds him until he can slow down enough to stop quivering. Everything Tommy needs during a panic attack, Noh-Varr does.

They go on a mission with the team.

Hydra gets Noh-Varr locked into a room and they  _gas_  him with something.

And Tommy gets to see  _Noh-Varr_  panic.

It’s a containment  _nightmare,_  the whole team has to work together to catch him, and that’s no small task when you’re chasing a guy who can walk up walls and make parts of himself explode. America finally has to catch him in a bearhug and hold him while Billy makes a net, and the whole time they’re doing  _that_  Teddy has to hang onto  _Tommy_  and keep him from going berserk and charging America to make her get her hands off his  _guy._

They get him somewhere safe and Tommy stays with him, and Noh-Varr pants with his pupils blown and says, over and over, “We’re crashing. The ship’s coming down, we’re crashing, where’s Merree, where’s Captain  _Glory–_ ”

Tommy grabs his hands, and Noh-Varr’s gaze snaps up to his.

“Tommy.”

Tommy nods, nervous, maybe even a little terrified. “It’s me, babe. It’s me. I’m right here with you.”

Noh-Varr stares at him and says, slowly, “The ship. The ship was crashing.”

“No ship. You’re right here with me and you’re safe.”

“It was crashing.” And suddenly Noh-Varr wraps his arms around Tommy’s neck and buries his face in Tommy’s shirt. “Everyone was going to die.”

“Nobody’s gonna die right now, babe. I’m right here.”

“What if you’re not here?” Noh-Varr’s fingers go tight, bunching Tommy’s shirt under his fingertips. “What if I’m just imagining you?”

“No, look, I’ll prove it, I’ll prove I’m here. Can I kiss you? Would that help prove it?”

Noh-Varr looks up at him, eyes still dry but dark, and says, “Yes. Prove you’re here. Yes.”


	84. Tim Drake and Kon-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonamouse also asked for TimKon with 4: “I’m flirting with you.”

“I  _know_  you’re flirting with me, Kon.” Tim is very solidly  _not_  looking over at him. “I’m ignoring you for time reasons.”

“ _What_  time reasons?” Kon groans and spins in his chair. “We’re not _doing_  anything today.”

“ _We’re_  not doing anything today, but  _Batman_  wants these reports by eight o’clock tonight and I’m doing my best to make that deadline.” Tim keeps typing, eyes still on the computer screen.

“Oh, come on. If Batman can blow you off to go bang Catwoman, you can keep him waiting half an hour for makeouts.”

“No, Kon. Not until these reports are done.” Tim focuses on the screen.  _Just_  on the screen. If he actually  _looks_  at Kon his resolve will crumble.

Kon sighs but doesn’t otherwise reply, and Tim thinks that’s the end of it, until he hears Kon’s chair roll back. Hears feet on the floor. Pacing back and forth behind him.

“Kon. Kon, what are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out if I could fit under the desk there. For a compromise, you know. See if there’s a way we can both get what we want.”

Tim feels a blush creeping up his face. “If you’re suggesting…”

“I am. I am suggesting exactly that.”

“Is…is the door locked?”

“Dude, of course.”

Tim’s eyes flick down to his legs, to the space under the desk, and then he says, “Um, I think you could…you could probably fit.”

“All  _right.”_


	85. Merlin Baker and Bart Allen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked: Could you do a Tim/Kon 4, and Merlin/Bart 5 please (also, congratulations on your new home)
> 
> I just did TimKon for that one the other day, so I’m just gonna be doing Merlin Baker/Bart Allen with 5: “Are you drunk?”

Merlin is hugging him. This isn’t unusual. Merlin hugs. He’s a hugger. He might be the most tactile person Bart’s ever met, because if allowed to, Merlin will hug _anyone._  He hugged  _Batman_  once, while Tim looked on in horror and the rest of the Young Titans gaped.

Normally, though, he lets go after a moment. If he’s being a pain in the ass you have to  _say_  “let go,” but once you’ve told him to it’s immediate.

Merlin is not letting go.

He buries his face in Bart’s hair and lets out a happy sigh and says, “Baaaaart, you smell nice.”

“Uh, thanks, Merlin. Can you scooch over a little? I’m losing my lead.”

“But you smell so good!”

“I appreciate that.” Bart wiggles a little bit so he can get a better grip on his controller and then blinks as he catches a whiff of something. “Wait, what’s that smell?”

“Kate stole some of the eggnog that Mom and Mom made for the party the _adults_  are having and I think I drank some.” Merlin blinks owlishly, very close to Bart’s face. “I was trying to get the kind with no brandy but I think I grabbed the wrong jug and now I feel very fuzzy. But you smell nice.”

“How much of the wrong eggnog did you  _drink?_ Are…are you  _drunk?_ ”

Tommy looks away from the television with a start. “Oh my god, is Merlin drunk?”

“I don’t think I like being drunk. I’m very dizzy.”

“I  _do_  need you to let go of me, though.” Bart wiggles again.

“But if I let go of you then I’ll fall over.”

Kate hiccups as she walks in. “Merlin is  _drunk?_  Oh my god, Merlin, you _lightweight._ ”

“Iiiii’m a cheap date. Also I only. I only weight one hundred and thirty pounds.” Merlin finally releases Bart, slouching against him instead. He tips his head back to look at Kate. “Katie-Kate, I love Bart.” He rolls his head slightly and kisses the edge of Bart’s ear. “Bart is wonderful.”

Bart blurs momentarily in surprise, blushing.


	86. John Constantine and Elsa Bloodstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Ohhh, I have a good one. Number 11 with John Constantine & Elsa Bloodstone
> 
> 11: “You don’t need to protect me.”
> 
> Anonamouse, I like the cut of your jib.

“Really, y’know. I’m a grown man. I can handle m’self.”

“Says the chainsmoker with the sideline in getting people killed.” Elsa grabs John’s collar. “C’mon then.”

“Stuck-up cow.”

“Bloody peasant.”

“You  _classist–_ ”

Elsa grabs the collar of John’s coat and yanks him into an alleyway just as two tall, eerily stretched-out people in red walk by. She hisses through her teeth. “You’ve got chalk, Johnny-boy?”

“What kind of a magician do you think I  _am,_  love? I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a bloody amateur.” He digs a battered pack of Crayola chalk out of one pocket of his trenchcoat. “What’ve  _you_  got, Elsie-girl?”

Elsa hefts her guitar case. “I’ve got a  _very_  large gun and no patience whatsoever.”

“Marry me.”

“No.” She pauses. “Maybe. Not the time. Demons first.”

John’s eyes sparkle. “Demons, then drinks.”

Elsa winks at him. “You’re an absolute ledge, John Constantine.”

“She  _does_  know the banter!” He shakes a stick of chalk out of the pack as she pops open her guitar case. “Come on, Elsie, let’s go be someone’s worst nightmare.”


	87. Savant and Creote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ashkaztra asked: I feel like 7. “How long has it been?” is all too perfect for Savant/Creote not to prompt it. :D
> 
> That really is perfect for them, wow.

Brian shifts. “How long  _has_  it been?”

“Not long. Only ten minutes or so.” Sasha’s hand is gentle on his shoulder. “They’re running slightly late, I suspect.”

More nervous shifting. The blindfold is, at least, soft against his skin. “I don’t like being  _bait._  I don’t mind not being able to see when it’s just us, you know that, but sitting here waiting for something to happen is  _awful._ ”

“I know, my love.” Sasha’s hand moves from Brian’s shoulder to his hair, carefully stroking, soothing. “Would it helped you pass the time if we planned something private for later? It could even be something along these lines, if that would help with the anxiety.”

The corner of Brian’s mouth curls up. “You’re just trying to finagle this conversation over to me bossing you around more.”

There’s a very long pause.

“I  _knew_  it.”


	88. Damian Wayne and Luna Maximoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Could you do a platonic friendship between Damian Wayne and Luna Maximoff (with whatever number you want)

“Have you ever… _wanted_  to hate someone?”

Damian stares at his swinging feet for a moment and then says, firmly, “No. Why would I do that? Either I hate someone or I  _don’t._  Why would I just  _want_  to hate someone?”

Luna plays with the end of her braid and says, “Huh.”

“Why?” He glances over at her. “Do  _you_  want to hate someone?”

“I want to hate a  _lot_  of people.” She sighs. “But I don’t think I’m very good at it. Most of them just want to do what they think is right.”

“They’re probably very stupid.”

“No, most of them are really smart, they just…do things that hurt my feelings.”

Damian wrinkles his nose. “ _I’ll_  hate them for you. I’m  _good_  at it.”

Luna looks worried, but all she says is, “Thank you.” And then, “Do you want to watch cartoons? Dad sent me all of Avatar on DVD for my birthday.”

“All right. I’ll have Alfred bring us cookies.”

“Are…are there any of those peppermint Oreos?”


	89. Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Bill/Ted - 16 or 18
> 
> 18: “Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This prompt actually came to my wrestle blog, handsomemanexpress, but as it's not a wrestle prompt it's going on the Commie collection.

“…and…hm…and, uh, every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again…dammit…”

“Dude.” Ted flops over the back of the couch, leaning his elbows on Bill’s shoulders. “That’s a  _good line._ That’s like. Romantic.”

Bill laughs. “You think?”

“That’s  _deep._  That’s, like, So-crates level deep.”

“Excellent.”

“So who’s it about, dude?” Ted rests his chin on the top of Bill’s head. “Is it about the babes?”

Bill blushes vividly. “Shut up, Ted.”

“Is it about Missy? That’d be weird. Remember when we–”

“Shut  _up,_  Ted.”

“So who’s it–”

Bill tilts his head back, almost toppling Ted off the back of the couch, and kisses him.

Ted blinks. “Dude. Dude.”

“Shut  _up,_  Ted, it’s about–”

_“Dude.”_

_“So?”  
_

Ted thinks about it for a moment, shrugs, grins, and says, “I can’t really air guitar when I’m holding myself up like this. But that was  _excellent._ ”

Bill slumps back with a relieved sigh. “Good.”


	90. David Alleyne and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: FOR THE ASK 9 THINKFAST PLEASE AND THANK YOU <3<3
> 
> “You know, it’s okay to cry.”

Tommy doesn’t cry. He doesn’t even make noise. He just sits there and quivers, his pupils pinholed as he watches his feet. And it’s  _intense_  quivering, too; David tried to sit next to him, but after a moment the vibration was too intense and he had to move away, so instead he sits on the coffee table.

“Was it anything in particular that got you going?”

Tommy glances to one side and down, glaring at nothing. “The smell. It was the smell. Exam rooms have this stink, it’s the disinfectant shit they pipe into the air, I can smell it a  _mile_  away.” At least David  _is_  pretty sure that’s what he said; the shaking is affecting his voice. “I couldn’t stay in there. Think I scared them running off.”

“It–”

“Just a checkup, yeah, I know. Just a checkup. Quick exam. Nothing big. Couldn’t do it.” The static of speed intensifies in his voice, just for a moment, and David’s briefly struck by how similar it is to the static that fills up his twin’s mouth at the moment a spell is spoken.

A droplet of water hits the coffee table, skittering across its scratched surface like an insect, and David says, “You know, it’s…it’s ok to cry. If you need to.”

“What are you, my shrink? Fuckin’ A, Davey-boy.” Tommy’s mouth twitches in and out of a thousand little smiles, too fast to process except as some kind of blurry maybe-amused blur. “I’m not gonna fuckin’ cry, I just…I don’t like hospitals.”

“I know.”

“You should order us Mexican food, yeah? I’m gonna…I’m gonna head over to Mount Rushmore, scream at Jefferson until I feel better.”

David grins. “Sounds good to me. What do you want me to get?”

“ _You_  know what I get.” And Tommy’s gone.


	91. Thomas Blake, Floyd Lawton, and Jeannette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pyrohydriscence asked for Bad Moon Rising (Thomas Blake/Floyd Lawton/Jeannette) with 17!
> 
> “I didn’t know you could sing.”

“ _Christ alive,_  Tomcat, where’d you come from?”

“I needed to brush my teeth. Didn’t you hear me come in?” Thomas spits into the sink.

“And you couldn’t wait until after I was done showering, you perv?” Floyd starts toweling off his hair but continues to glare at Thomas.

“Dental hygiene is  _very_  important.” Thomas flashes him an unnervingly white-toothed smile. “Plus how could I resist listening to you sing the hits of Johnny Cash? I didn’t know you  _could_  sing.”

The door opens, and Floyd yelps,  _“Jesus,”_  and wraps the towel hurriedly around his waist even as Jeannette leans into the bathroom. “Show the whole  _world_  my junk, why dontcha?”

“I doubt anyone else in the house would be interested, darling. Not that it’s not very nice. Was that  _you_  singing? Why didn’t you tell me you sang? I could have you serenade me while Thomas is brushing my hair.”

“I’m not serenading  _anybody,_ I ain’t  _that_  good.”

Thomas frowns. “While  _I’m_  brushing your hair?” 

“Well, I can hardly sing to  _myself,_  I’d kill everyone in the  _house._ ” Jeannette actually looks rather pleased about that fact. “I  _like_  having handsome men to entertain me and do my bidding.”

Thomas and Floyd  _both_  shuffle awkwardly.


	92. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: nohmmy for the drabble prompt meme, #12? or #4 ? please/thank you!!
> 
> “I’m flirting with you.”

“Oh my god, stop tickling me.”

Teddy whistles innocently. “I’m not tickling you, both my hands are up here.”

“Tee, I can–” Billy cuts off with a yelp of laughter and then picks back up, “I can _see_  the third hand you grew. Stop  _tickling_  me, you  _jerk._ ”

Tommy glares across the table. “You two are  _disgusting._  You’re already dating, why d’you gotta flirt like middle schoolers on  _top_  of that?”

Teddy says, cheerfully, “I don’t know  _what_  you mean.”

“Kate, back me up here–no, she’s not gonna be any help,  _Hawkeye_  over here’s too busy making googoo eyes at that kid with the tribals and the Disney name.”

Kate says, absently, “Don’t be a jerk, Tommy.”

Tommy huffs. “Well, if everybody  _else_  at this table is flirting with someone instead of making some damn conversation then I might as well join in on the _fun,_  huh?” A quick glance around. “Hey, spaceboy, you’re in luck.”

Noh-Varr looks up from his drink in surprise. “Hm?”

“We’re flirting now. I’m flirting with you. Since that’s what everyone seems to be doing.”

Noh-Varr raises an eyebrow and looks Tommy over. Very slowly. “Ok, I can go for that.”

Tommy’s heart makes a little flipping motion in his chest, and he thinks,  _Shit, bad plan._  “So. Uh.”

Noh-Varr looks entertained. “So are you flirting with me or what?”


	93. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beaubier asked: If you don't mind doing another ficlet, nohmmy with 11 or 12?
> 
> “You don’t need to protect me.”

As soon as the Avengers show up Tommy skids to a stop squarely in front of Noh-Varr, and Noh-Varr blinks. “Tommy?”

“Get outta here, babe. Don’t let these assholes see you.”

More blinking, and then Noh-Varr laughs, quietly. “Tommy, we worked things out ages ago. You don’t need to protect me.”

“Yeah, well. You say you worked things out. I’ve still got my doubts.”

“Tommy. Your brother is with them. Also this is Luke Cage’s group of Avengers, I’ve never had any issues with them.”

Billy waves from where he’s hovering. “Hey, guys!”

Tommy stares. “Billy, what are you doing with the Avengers?”

Victor Alvarez is waving too. “We needed some extra bweeoop and he was free. It looked like you guys needed a hand.”

“Yes, with the, uh…” Noh-Varr glances over at their opponents. “With these mutant sheep. Or. Whatever they are.”

“Those look more like goats to me.” Monica Rambeau frowns. “I  _hate_  weird shit.”

Noh-Varr presses a fleeting kiss to the back of Tommy’s neck as they all turn to face the goats together. “I am glad that you  _want_  to protect me,  _hala._ ”

“Hmph.” Tommy blushes. “Obviously  _someone_  has to do it.”


	94. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd (numba 3!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Nohmmy 9, for the ask number thing?:)
> 
> “You know, it’s okay to cry.”

Noh-Varr stares in consternation at the game board. “I’m  _losing._ ”

“Yeah you are.” Tommy looks down at his selection of properties with some satisfaction.

“I don’t…I  _never_  lose at games.”

“You know, it’s ok to cry. I won’t judge or anything. Although I won’t give you a discount on your rent either.”

Noh-Varr glares at him.

“Who’s crying?” says Kate from the other room.

“Aliens don’t understand capitalism.” Tommy reaches for the dice. “Also I’m rich.”

“I  _understand_  capitalism just fine, I just don’t want to participate.”

“Then why did you say you’d play Monopoly with me?”

Noh-Varr scratches his head. “I was hoping it was a veiled invitation to make out and that we’d only get through three turns.”


	95. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd (4 and counting)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: If you're still doing the prompt things can I have Nohmmy, 6?
> 
> “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”

Tommy gapes. The pressure cooker lid is firmly embedded in the ceiling above the stove. “That…wasn’t supposed to happen like that, was it.”

There’s a thumping noise from nearby and coming ever closer, and then Noh-Varr comes rocketing into the kitchen, obviously managing to stop short of going through a wall only by exerting a great deal of effort. “Tommy? What happened? Who’s attacking, are you all right?”

Tommy gestures helplessly to the pressure cooker with his spoon. “I was just trying to make dinner. I don’t know what went wrong.”

“…nobody’s attacking?”

“Only my inability to cook.”

“Were you trying to make a  _bomb_  for dinner?”

“It was  _supposed_  to be a pot roast but yeah, I guess I was.”

“You’re banned from cooking.” Noh-Varr grabs Tommy around the waist and hoists him over one shoulder.

“I’m not going to blow up  _everything_  I try to make, Noh.”

“Tommy, this is the fourth time this  _week._ ”


	96. Klarion and Stephen Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lincolnkw asked: Oh lord. That Elsa and John Constantine ficlet made my mind go somewhere. Not there! Now I want Klarion bum-bum-BUM Witchboy and Dr. Strange and no. 6 "It wasn't supposed to happen like that".

“Klarion, I understand that you’re a very gifted user of magic, but has anyone ever told you that you’re an atrocious student?” Stephen scrubs at the stain on his coat with one sleeve, eyeing the putrescent green color with distaste. “It never seems to occur to you to listen to what I’m saying.”

Klarion folds his arms over his chest, pouting. “It wasn’t  _supposed_  to happen like that. I was trying to make flowers, not  _slime._ ”

“Yes, I understand that. You mispronounced half of the phrase. Because you just went charging in before I’d finished sounding it out for you. You don’t listen to me.”

“Well, you’re  _old._  Why  _should_  I? Old people don’t actually know anything, they just say they do.” At Klarion’s ankle, Teekl hisses.

“Klarion, you indicated to me previously that you’re at least one hundred years old. You are, in fact, older than me.”

Klarion suddenly looks shifty. “Whyyyyyyy would I suggest something so ridiculous? You must have misunderstood me. Not that I’m not in every way superior to you.”

Stephen groans. “I’m going to kill that man Constantine for saddling me with _you_  while he went off with the Lady Bloodstone.”


End file.
